George Quote #623
Quote from George in The Pilot
George: Do you remember when you came to audition for us?
Tom Pepper: Yeah.
George: There was a box of raisins on the coffee table. Did you, by any chance, take them with you when left?
Tom Pepper: What are you talking about?
George: Well we were all eating the raisins. And I remember you- You were eating some of the raisins. And then you left, and the raisins were gone. And I was just wondering if, you know [chuckles], maybe you took them with you.
Tom Pepper: Are you accusing me of stealing the raisins?
George: Oh, no, no.
Tom Pepper: Why would I steal a box of raisins!?
George: No, you wouldn't. Nobody would. It's just that... They were missing, and... Well I'm just inquiring.
Tom Pepper: Let me give you a word of advice, okay? I want you to stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you, and I don't wanna hear anymore of your stupid little notes and suggestions. I don't like you. So if you got any other problems, whether it's raisins, prunes, figs, or any other dried fruit, just keep it to yourself and stay out of my way, okay?
George: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. I don't think we're gonna have any problem with that. [nervous chuckle] Good talking to you, Tom. Really.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: [on the phone] This is George Costanza, I'm calling for my test results. Negative? Oh, my God. Why?! Why?! Why?! What? What? Negative is good? [cheers up] Oh, yes of course! How stupid of me. Thank you. Thank you very much. [hangs up]
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: To me, the whole concept of fear of success is proof that we are definitely scraping the bottom of the fear barrel. Are we gonna have to have AA-type meetings for these people? They'll go: "Hi, my name is Bill, and the one thing I'm worried about is having a stereo and a cream-colored couch." According to most studies, people's number-one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Now, this means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
Quote from George
George: When I asked him if it was cancer, he didn't give me a "get outta here". That's what I wanted to hear: "Cancer? Get outta here!"
Jerry: Well, maybe he doesn't have a "get outta here" kind of personality.
George: How could you be a doctor and not say "get outta here"? It should be part of the training at medical school: "Cancer? Get outta here! Go home! What are you crazy? It's a little test. It's nothing. You're a real nut. You know that?" I told you that God would never let me be successful. I never should've written that pilot. Now the show will be a big hit, we'll make millions of dollars, and I'll be dead. Dead Jerry. Because of this.
Jerry: Can't you at least die with a little dignity?
George: No, I can't. I can't die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?