Jerry Quote #491
Quote from Jerry in The Pitch/The Ticket
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Parents like to drag kids to these historical sights on vacation. I remember going to Colonial Williamsburg and you see the supposedly authentic blacksmith there. You know, he's got the three-cornered hat, and the knickers, and the Def Leppard t-shirt. My parents took me to the Amish country, which, you know, to a kid, you see a bunch of people that have no cars, no TVs, no phones, they go "So what? Neither do I." So it's a whole community that's been grounded. So that's the way they should punish the kid after they get home, "All right, kid, get up to your room. You are Amish, young man. For the rest of the weekend, Amish. Don't come down till you make some noodles and raise a barn."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Pitch/The Ticket’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Male Voice: [on the phone] Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
Jerry: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Male Voice: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Male Voice: No.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel. [hangs up]
Quote from George
George: See, this should be a show. This is the show.
Jerry: What?
George: This. Just talking.
Jerry: [dismissive] Yeah, right.
George: I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea.
Jerry: Just talking? Well what's the show about?
George: It's about nothing.
Jerry: No story?
George: No, forget the story.
Jerry: You've got to have a story.
George: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for, for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV show.
Quote from George
George: They wanna have another meeting? They wanna buy it? They wanna buy it? Oh, I tell you, we're gonna be rich! What are we gonna get for this? Fifty, sixty thousand?
Jerry: I don't know about sixty.
George: Oh, it's gotta be fifty. [giddy laugh] You know how much Ted Danson makes, huh?
Jerry: Ted Danson. Now, how are you comparing us to Ted Danson?
George: I didn't say we're Ted Danson.
Jerry: Yes, you did. You said we're Ted Danson!
George: Oh!
Jerry: You know, I think he wears a piece.
George: Yeah, don't worry. He can afford it.