Morty Seinfeld Quote #15

Quote from Morty Seinfeld in The Pen

Morty Seinfeld: You know, Jack, you've got a hell of a nerve taking that kid's pen.
Jack: Whose pen?
Morty Seinfeld: His pen.
Jack: This happens to be my pen.
Morty Seinfeld: You didn't give it to him.
Jack: What are you talking about? He practically begged me for it.
Morty Seinfeld: Where do you come off with this crap?
Jack: Listen, do you think I take everything everybody offers me? You offered me sponge cake yesterday. Did I take it?
Morty Seinfeld: You said you didn't want it!
Jack: Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake!
Morty Seinfeld: Then who the hell said you couldn't have any? I mean what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?

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 ‘The Pen’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people? They love heat. I mean, if they ever decide to land men on the sun, I think these old retired guys would be the only ones that will be able to handle it. They'll just sit there on the sun, on the redwood benches, washcloth on the head going: "I'm trying to get a sweat going."

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: What is going on in this community! Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits, but my father has bathing suits from other centuries. My parents live in Florida. And if you go down there and you forget your bathing suits, then they want you to wear one of theirs. You know how that gets? "You need trunks, son? I've got trunks for you. You can wear my trunks." Fathers don't wear bathing suits, they wear trunks. It's kind of the same thing a tree would wear if it went swimming. So I get in the water with in thing and it's like floating around me somewhere. Did you ever put on a bathing suit that you don't even know exactly where you are inside the bathing suit? You bump into somebody you know: "No, I'm parasailing, I'm waiting for the boat to come back."