All: Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted! Ted!
Leslie Knope: Article Two, Section Two of the Pawnee Charter reads, "Be it decreed: Should the taxation of tea rise to an unacceptable level, citizens shall dump Ted into Ramsett Lake." [all cheer] Does anyone object?
Ted: As always, I object.
Garth Blundin: Nay, enough dithering! Dump the miscreant! Boo! [all cheer]
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Today is Ted Party Day, where we commemorate the great Pawnee tea dump of 1817. Historical fun fact: when the Founding Fathers wrote the charter, their old-timey script made one of the "a"s look like a "d," so "tea" became "Ted." It's just one of those little things that reminds us of Pawnee's rich and vibrant past. Plus, we get to go find a guy named Ted and throw him in a lake.