Merle Streep: Okay, so I do have a few changes. Take or leave. What if we kill off Jessica Night in the next book?
Nick: What?
Merle Streep: I was thinking that she could be Schmith's next victim. We could do it in a big way, like, he drops a piano on her head. [blows raspberry] Done-zo.
Nick: What?
Merle Streep: Maybe she takes a baseball right to the face. Batter out!
Nick: Have you ever done this before?
Merle Streep: Yes, actually. I published the entire Bitch Witch series. Bitch Witch Christmas, Bitch Witch Prom Night, and Bitch Witches of Rhode Island.
Nick: Yeah. Okay.
Merle Streep: Look, Nick, I-I get that you're afraid to make changes.
Nick: Actually, I'm not afraid.
Merle Streep: Okay, then you'll think about it.
Nick: [chuckles softly] No, I'm not gonna make those changes because those-those ideas are really bad. Jessica Night is the whole reason Pepperwood gets out of bed every day.