Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #401
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Foreign Man
Captain Stottlemeyer: Mr. Waingaya, the case is open. Sergeant Kramer's a good guy. He's gonna do his best. But cases like this are very, very hard to solve. Do you understand? You can't ask for miracles.
Samuel Waingaya: Ansara used to say, "Miracles happen every day. You just have to know where to look."
Lieutenant Disher: Uh, excuse me, there's no smoking in the building.
Samuel Waingaya: It's okay, Lieutenant Disher, I know the routine. I brought my smoking bag.
Lieutenant Disher: Your smoking bag?
Natalie: He's trying to quit. He's down to two bags a day.
Samuel Waingaya: [laughs] Did you hear that? She said two bags instead of two packs. Thank you so much, Natalie Teeger, for teaching me how to laugh again.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You know, there's a smoking section down at the end of the hall. Natalie, Randy, why don't you take Mr. Waingaya and his bag...
Lieutenant Disher: We don't have a smoking area.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Just go to the conference room and open a window.
‘Mr. Monk and the Foreign Man’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Okay, this is how we do our laundry in America. These are your whites.
Samuel Waingaya: My whites, excellent.
Adrian Monk: Your off-whites. Your off-off-white. These are the primary colors: red, yellow, green, blue, and that's indigo. Left socks, right socks. I've labeled them for you.
Samuel Waingaya: But in Nigeria, we just wash all of our socks together.
Adrian Monk: Well, I don't like to judge people, but that's wrong.
Samuel Waingaya: So you mean you separate everything? But how much is that going to cost?
Adrian Monk: Uh, $200.
Samuel Waingaya: But I've been watching the Friends on TV for years. This is not how they do it.
Adrian Monk: What friends?
Samuel Waingaya: You know, the TV show Friends. Lisa Kudrow, Jennifer Aniston...
Adrian Monk: Yeah, we don't get the African TV here.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Whoa, whoa,whoa. What, what, what, what is this? What are you doing?
Samuel Waingaya: [smoking cigarette] I'm so sorry. It's so rude of me. Please, would you like one?
Adrian Monk: No, no, no thank you. But do you- Do you have to-
Samuel Waingaya: It calms my nerves. You did say for me to make myself at home. Did I misunderstand?
Adrian Monk: Wait a minute. Hold on. Here. Breathe it into this. Okay? See? There you go. And there you are.
Samuel Waingaya: I love it. It's ingenious. What do you call it?
Adrian Monk: A smoking bag.
Samuel Waingaya: I've never heard of such a thing. Is it new?
Adrian Monk: Yes, it's brand-new.
Samuel Waingaya: This would be very popular in Nigeria.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: It's coming from outside. I knew it. It's a hippie. It's incense. He's burning incense down there. By the way, that's a perfect name for that stuff because that's how people react to it. They get incensed. Get it? Incense, incensed. You add the "D". Forget it. [opens window] Hey, you can't sell that stuff without a permit.
Samuel Waingaya: I am not selling anything.
Adrian Monk: Of course you're not. Nobody wants to buy that junk. Find another street. Good-bye. Peace and love, and Woodstock.
Samuel Waingaya: Woodstock?
Adrian Monk: You heard me!