Adrian Monk: What was that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: That was the opening kickoff. We're officially missing the game. Why am I not surprised? Monk, what are you doing? With the hands? What?
Adrian Monk: It's just a charcoal grill. It doesn't make any sense. Why would it just explode?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk, it makes perfect sense. These things blow up all the time. First off, the kid was plastered. He dumps a half a gallon of lighter fluid on the son of a bitch, dropped a match, and kaboom! No, no, no, first play of the game, and we're already behind.
Adrian Monk: That's not lighter fluid.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That's gasoline. You son of a bitch.
Adrian Monk: I didn't do it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, at least quit smiling.