Mr. Herkabe Quote #326
Quote from Mr. Herkabe in Malcolm Defends Reese
Malcolm: What are you doing here?
Mr. Herkabe: Reclaiming what is rightfully mine. Once I complete this course, they'll be forced to reinstate me.
Malcolm: You can't take a class 20 years later.
Mr. Herkabe: Who is being petty, now, Malcolm? No, no, no. You will soon discover what my cable guy learned the hard way... you can't defeat Lionel Herkabe. You see, Malcolm- [Herkabe is knocked down by a ball thrown by Reese]
Reese: Hey, Mr. Herkabe. How do you like dodge ball?
Mr. Herkabe: Oh, no, wait, wait, wait, wait! [Herkabe groans as Reese throws another ball at him] You are just making yourself look weak and foolish!
Reese: I might stop hitting you if you dance like a monkey.
Mr. Herkabe: Like like this?
Reese: You call that a monkey dance? [knocks Herkabe down with another ball]
Malcolm: [to camera] Some things you don't do for trophies. You treasure them here where it counts the most.
Mr. Herkabe: You think that hurt? That didn't hurt. [Reese throws another ball] Oh, God, make it stop!
Malcolm: No one can take that away. [Herkabe groans]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Defends Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Fascinating timeline, Reese. So let's see. It was the moon landing, the War of 1812, then the Lincoln-Kennedy shoot-out.
Malcolm: [to camera] It's embarrassing enough having Reese in my class this year. What's worse is Herkabe's made him his personal whipping boy.
Mr. Herkabe: Reese, I'm just looking through my notes here, and it appears that that was your twentieth wrong answer in a row. And you know what that means, don't you?
Students: [chant] Monkey dance! Monkey dance! Monkey dance!
Reese: Monkey dance?
Mr. Herkabe: Your first right answer. Well, let's not leave your audience waiting.
[Reese dances like a monkey as his classmates chant. Malcolm gives Mr. Herkabe a disapproving look.]
Mr. Herkabe: Wait, Reese. Stop. This isn't right. [plays music] Okay, continue.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: I won it my senior year.
Malcolm: Football trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: The soccer trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: There's just a bunch of crappy ribbons.
Mr. Herkabe: Behind the spelling bee award.
Malcolm: That thing that looks like it broke off that other trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: I cannot be responsible for the myopic value this sports-obsessed administration places on academic achievement. But that little plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it is mine, Malcolm. All mine.
Malcolm: So what?
Mr. Herkabe: So what? I had to work hard for that plaque. I had to score higher than Edna Fornby, who'd held the title for 38 years. A towering intellect, blind since birth, went on to be a Rhodes scholar. Really classy lady. Cried like a baby when I took it from her. What a night.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Reese: I don't know. I can't think any more. Is it... "C"?
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, Reese. That's incorrect. Hammy? [the hamster presses a button marked A] Yes! Fort Ticonderoga is correct. I was looking for a close race, but, Hammy, you've really run away with this thing. [bell rings] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today, but join us again tomorrow for another exciting installment of "What Is Dumber Than Reese?"