Mr. Herkabe Quote #324
Quote from Mr. Herkabe in Malcolm Defends Reese
Mr. Herkabe: Buck up, Malcolm. Only 12 more weeks, and then I'll back off and let you pick the course you want to tank.
Malcolm: Hey, we're not in your stupid class anymore, all right? Will you just leave me alone?
Mr. Herkabe: Oh, a sullen rebuke. What a bonus. You know, I might make them get me a bigger plaque when I beat you, Malcolm. Ugh! How can they let it get so dingy? [to the janitor] Hey, Slick! Instead of pushing dust around over there, why don't you polish up these trophies? It's disgraceful. [to Malcolm] You know, I'll admit, it wasn't easy beating old Fornby. Of course she had the added advantage of being blind and club-footed, no distractions, but still, I had to bust my hump that last semester. Did you know, instead of seventh period gym, I created my own AP class? While those Cro-Magnons were chasing balls and sweating like swine, I was sitting in an air-conditioned room with my tie unloosed, discussing Renaissance poetry.
Malcolm: You wore a suit to school?
Mr. Herkabe: And a silk handkerchief. They hated me because I made them look ridiculous.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Defends Reese’ Quotes
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: Fascinating timeline, Reese. So let's see. It was the moon landing, the War of 1812, then the Lincoln-Kennedy shoot-out.
Malcolm: [to camera] It's embarrassing enough having Reese in my class this year. What's worse is Herkabe's made him his personal whipping boy.
Mr. Herkabe: Reese, I'm just looking through my notes here, and it appears that that was your twentieth wrong answer in a row. And you know what that means, don't you?
Students: [chant] Monkey dance! Monkey dance! Monkey dance!
Reese: Monkey dance?
Mr. Herkabe: Your first right answer. Well, let's not leave your audience waiting.
[Reese dances like a monkey as his classmates chant. Malcolm gives Mr. Herkabe a disapproving look.]
Mr. Herkabe: Wait, Reese. Stop. This isn't right. [plays music] Okay, continue.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Mr. Herkabe: I won it my senior year.
Malcolm: Football trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: The soccer trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: Behind that.
Malcolm: There's just a bunch of crappy ribbons.
Mr. Herkabe: Behind the spelling bee award.
Malcolm: That thing that looks like it broke off that other trophy?
Mr. Herkabe: I cannot be responsible for the myopic value this sports-obsessed administration places on academic achievement. But that little plaque represents the highest GPA in the history of the school, and it is mine, Malcolm. All mine.
Malcolm: So what?
Mr. Herkabe: So what? I had to work hard for that plaque. I had to score higher than Edna Fornby, who'd held the title for 38 years. A towering intellect, blind since birth, went on to be a Rhodes scholar. Really classy lady. Cried like a baby when I took it from her. What a night.
Quote from Mr. Herkabe
Reese: I don't know. I can't think any more. Is it... "C"?
Mr. Herkabe: I'm sorry, Reese. That's incorrect. Hammy? [the hamster presses a button marked A] Yes! Fort Ticonderoga is correct. I was looking for a close race, but, Hammy, you've really run away with this thing. [bell rings] I'm sorry, that's all the time we have today, but join us again tomorrow for another exciting installment of "What Is Dumber Than Reese?"