Hal: So, you just bought a new bed, just like that.
Lois: Hal, we had that smelly, saggy old one for 20 years. It's time for a new one.
Hal: This one is certainly bigger.
Lois: Yeah. It's king-sized. They're a little bigger.
Hal: So you'll be further away.
Lois: I guess. Maybe a couple inches.
Hal: So, is that the reason? You want there to be more distance between us?
Lois: Hal, I didn't really think about the size. It was on sale at Mattress King.
Hal: I guess you couldn't pass up a deal like that, huh? It's just interesting to learn how it starts.
Lois: How what starts?
Hal: Well, first you buy the king-size bed, the largest bed made. But then of course, at some point, even the giant bed doesn't put enough distance between you and the hideous monster. So you start sleeping in another room. Then soon, we're barely exchanging pleasantries, and then one day you say, "Hal, let's just say what we're both thinking." And then, I end up eating alone on a Formica table under a swinging lightbulb while you are on a beach in Ibiza being rubbed with cocoa butter by your new lover who you can never get too close to!
Lois: Hal, it's a bed! The old one was horrible. This one is nice. Look, I know this is a big change for you. So I'm just going to have to think of some way to make you very, very happy in this bed.
Hal: Good luck!