Barney Quote #1131
Robin: Hey, how's it going?
Ted: Still in mourning over the end of the pharma girl era?
Barney: No. I realized that their reign had to end to make room for some new hot girl profession. Maybe it'll be
intergalactic communications officer on a rocket ship to some distant solar system we can't possibly imagine. Maybe it'll be meter maids. We just don't know. But one thing is sure. The future glows like a giant sun shooting amber rays of light into our hearts and minds.
Robin: Wow, what changed your mind?
Barney: The realization that hope springs eternal, Robin. That and this little bottle of purple pills I found in my couch cushion. I don't know what they are, [laughing] but they are amazing!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Hooked’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: What? It's just a job.
Barney: Just a... Just a... Ah! Ted, throughout time, there has always been one cutting-edge profession to which hot girls, like Tiffany, have flocked. Shall I walk you through the history?
Ted: I'm gonna explicitly say no.
Barney: It all started 2.5 million years ago.
[flashback to a cave-man Barney hitting rocks:]
Barney: [v.o.] Man was a hunter. So the hottest profession of the day? Gatherer.
Barney: Homo erectus, indeed. [winks to camera]
[flashback to an injured Barney in a field hospital:]
Barney: [v.o.] As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved.
Barney: I'm pretty sure it's a hernia. Can you check again? [winks to camera]
[flashback to Barney seated in first class on an airplane:]
Barney: [v.o.] And then man took to the skies. And so hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses.
Barney: I am in the upright and locked position. [winks to camera]
[present:]
Barney: And then man said, "Life is hard. I should start taking lots of prescription drugs." And so, hot girls rolled into doctors' offices, looking sexy enough to render the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant. So, now, pharma girls are today's hottest profession.
Quote from Barney
Diana: Hey, Barney, I want you to meet the newest pharma girl.
Gladys: Gladys Reynolds. Nice to make your acquaintance. I represent statins and other cholesterol-lowering drugs.
Diana: Come on, girl. Let's go get our drink on!
Gladys: Okay.
Barney: It's over.
Robin: What's over?
Barney: Pharma girls are no longer exclusively hot chicks. It's the end of an era.
Robin: You're being a little dramatic.
Barney: Am I? It starts out with a Gladys. Next thing you know, a few not-so-fabulous gay guys enter the ranks. And before you know it, pharma girls look like the crew on a Southwest flight from Albuquerque to Little Rock. It's over. [slams the table]
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ain't no party like a pharma girl party 'Cause a pharma girl party don't stop. Dude, I've already hooked up with three of them. Fantazmo. Plus, my cholesterol is down, my Restless Leg Syndrome is cured. I've never felt more alive!