Ted Quote #64
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, the thing about New Year's Eve is that it sucks. Sure, it looks great on TV, but in reality, it's always just a big let down, but in 2005, I attempted to do the impossible, to give my friends a great New Year's Eve. I had an idea of how to do it, too. And all it cost was half my Christmas bonus.
Ted: Yeah, that's right. A limo.
Quote from Barney
Robin: Oh, man, Ted, this is great.
Ted: Okay, people, let's talk strategy. Last New Year's, we went our separate ways, and it sucked. This year we party together or not at all. Now, I sifted through your party submission and I narrowed them down to these five.
Ted: Yes, Barney, your submissions were received and no, we will not be attending any parties in your pants.
Barney: But you enjoyed the e-vite, right? That was an actual picture of my pants.
Quote from Barney
Barney: [clears throat] People often ask me "Barney, how is it that you're so psyched so much of the time?"
Lily: By who? Who asks you that? [laughs]
Barney: And the answer is right here. My own, personal "Get Psyched" mix. Now, people often think a good mix should rise and fall, but people are wrong. It should be all rise, baby. Now prepare yourselves for an audio journey into the white-hot center of adrenaline. Bam.
[Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" plays]
Quote from Intervention
[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.
Quote from We're Not From Here
Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!