Robin Quote #493
Ted: You know what, Barney? Just cut her some slack, okay? She just went through a breakup.
Barney: With hygiene?
Future Ted: [v.o.] No, with Don. A few months earlier...
[flashback to Ted comforting Robin in the apartment:]
Ted: Here, have some tea.
Robin: Thanks.
Ted: Robin, I am here for you. Whatever you need.
Robin: Okay, um, about that. Ted, listen. I know myself pretty well. And, um, some time over the next few months, I'm going to want to sleep with you. And when that happens, you have to try to say no.
Ted: Try? I will absolutely say no. Our friendship is too important.
Robin: Oh. Okay, you know, maybe I wasn't clear enough. Um... I will come at you with everything I've got. I will stalk you like the lioness stalks the gazelle: careful, patient, deadly. And if you let your guard down for so much as a second, as sure as you were born, I will hump your brains out.
[two weeks later, a disheveled Robin is crying and surrounded by food on the couch when Ted returns home:]
Robin: Okay, I'm ready to have sex now.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Big Days’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Robin: Well, I guess you just got to move on. I mean, it's not like you have a shot with Ready McGee over there, right? Ted?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Then I remembered. Cindy had a roommate. A roommate I only caught a glimpse of... But a roommate who, by every indication, was something very special. Was it possible? Could this be the girl attached to that ankle?
Ted: I got to see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? God, I swear, one in five guys...
Quote from Barney
Ted: You can't call dibs on a girl I've been sitting here thinking about maybe talking to eventually at some point.
Barney: You never called dibs.
Ted: Dibs were implied.
Barney: Implied dibs?
Ted: Yeah.
Barney: Ted, you are spitting on the grave of Sir Walter Dibs, inventor of the dib. It was 1652... [v.o.] The SS Dibs was lost at sea...
Ted: Look, I don't have time for a fake history lesson, so I'll keep this simple. You go over there and talk to that girl, I will see you in court.
Barney: And who's gonna represent you? Dibs on Marshall as my lawyer!
Quote from Barney
Ted: Fine. Have at it. Exercise your dibs. She's got her shields up anyway. She's reading a book.
Barney: Yeah. At a bar. That book might as well be called, "Are you there, Barney? It's Me, Horny."