Ted Quote #215
Quote from Ted in First Time in New York
[flashback to Ted talking to Katie at the Empire State Building:]
Ted: Well, I don't know what your sister's freaking out about, either. I was your age my first time.
Katie: Oh, really?
Ted: Yeah, yeah. It was, uh, it was with this girl, Molly.
[flashback to Ted on his bed with Molly:]
Molly: I love you, Ted.
Ted: Oh, I love you, too, Molly.
[five minutes later:]
Ted: [v.o.] But I didn't.
Molly: That was amazing.
Ted: Look, I got to go.
Molly: Where are you going?
Ted: My cousin got some firecrackers from Mexico. We're going out to the woods to light 'em, it's gonna be awesome.
Molly: Well, will you call me?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, I'll totally call you.
Ted: [v.o.] But I didn't.
Ted: Molly?
Molly: Yeah?
Ted: Can I borrow 20 bucks? I'll totally pay you back.
Ted: [v.o.] But I didn't.
[back to the Empire State Building:]
Ted: And I never saw her again. I told her I loved her, but... I just wanted to have sex. I-I would've said anything to make that happen, and that's exactly what I did. Look, I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just telling you what all 17-year-old boys are like. Even the nice ones.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘First Time in New York’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Hey, why don't you tell us again about your first time at the camp in the Catskills.
Barney: Baby and her family spent every summer at Kellerman's. Her dad did not approve of our love.
Ted: Did anyone put Baby in a corner?
Barney: Oh, God, no. What can I say, I had the time of my life. True story.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Watch your steps when you get up, kids, 'cause I am about to drop some knowledge. Relationships are like a freeway.
Marshall: Wait a minute, a month ago you told me relationships are like a traveling circus.
Barney: No, this is new. This trumps that. Freeways have exits. So do relationships. The first exit, my personal favorite, is six hours in. You meet, you talk, you have sex, you exit when she's in the shower.
Robin: So every girl you have sex with feels the immediate need to shower? Actually, yeah, I get that.
Barney: The next exits are four days, three weeks, seven months... That's when you guys are gonna break up, mark your calendars.
Ted: Hey.
Barney: Then a year and a half, 18 years, and the last exit, death. Which, if you've been with the same woman for your entire life, it's like, "Are we there yet?"
Quote from Barney
Lily: Speaking of first times, we never got to hear your virginity story.
Marshall: That's right, I almost forgot.
Barney: Okay. I was 16, and it was in a baseball dugout...
Marshall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Barney: I mean, I was in a subway with a high-priced call girl...
Ted: Risky Business.
Barney: I was accidentally hacking into NORAD'S computer...
Ted: That's War Games, and there's not even a sex scene in it.
Barney: All right! I was 23, and it was with my mom's 45-year-old divorced friend, Rhonda. She called me "Barry" the whole time, and for two weeks, my comforter smelled like menthol cigarettes. You happy?