Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I bought the house we live in now way back before I ever met your mother. It needed a lot of work, but I had a vision for it.
Ted: Vintage rolltop desk here. I haven't decided whether to put the fern on the right or the left side. But, you know, sometimes you just gotta wing it, right? Left side. Oh, and right outside... I want to put up a basketball hoop for the kids. Huh?
Barney: Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing there. Vibrating Jell-O pit right there. Rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here. Don't ask. You're not ready. And that basketball hoop? Outdoor stripper pole. We'll just tell the ladies to be careful in the winter. You think a tongue stuck to a frozen pole is bad.