Tim Quote #3178
Tim: Great party. So, what's with Agatha?
Wilson: Oh, you think she's odd, don't you?
Tim: Well, I don't know. "Odd" is kind of a strong word. Confusing, interesting, and kind of...
Wilson: Oh, Tim, you think she's mildly delusional.
Tim: I think she's a certifiable nut case, to be honest with you.
Wilson: I find her a little bit peculiar myself.
Tim: Well, why is she still your special friend, then?
Wilson: Tim, I've tried to break up with her three times, but she won't take no for an answer. I mean, have you ever dated a woman who scared you? [Tim waves to Jill] I mean, if you were in my position, what would you do?
Tim: Well, like you would tell me. I mean... You gotta be honest, straightforward. Tell her that it's just, you know, nicely, that it's over.
Wilson: Yes.
Tim: And if that doesn't work, drop a house on her.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bewitched’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Detective Roberts: Do we have anything to link her to the crime scene? A black cat? A broom?
Tim: How about her amulet that she wore around her neck? It's right here. Hey, look at that. It's my fez. I've been looking all over for this thing.
Detective Roberts: Your fez? What happened to the amulet?
Tim: Well... I had it in my hand.
Detective Roberts: You tampered with the crime scene?
Tim: I did not know it was a crime. I did not know it at the time.
Detective Roberts: Dr. Seuss claims there was a witch.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Guys, guys, forget about me. Shouldn't we be looking for Wilson?
Detective Roberts: Yeah. We'll get that in motion as soon as you give us some more information. Now, look, Tim. Can I call you Tim?
Tim: I'd like that.
Detective Roberts: You really had no idea about your neighbor's financial situation?
Tim: No, no. I mean, he's a real simple guy. He eats squirrel. And he's been wearing the same hat for 15 years.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: I'm innocent. I've been framed, here. Honey, say something about...
Agatha: We just need a positive ID on the body.
Tim: Body?
Agatha: Bring it in. [the sheet is pulled back to the end of Wilson's nose]
Detective MacIntyre: Is this Mr. Wilson?
Jill: Oh, God! Yeah.
Brad: Why'd you do it, Dad?
Tim: I didn't do anything.
Wilson: Boo! [Tim screams] [everyone else cheers and laughs] He never saw it coming! Got ya!
Heidi: You are the king.
Wilson: I am the king!