Tim Quote #3169
Jill: Good morning, sweetie.
Tim: Good morning!
Jill: I have so many things to do today, I don't even know where to get started.
Tim: Hey, you could start off with a nice hot, relaxing cup of tea.
Jill: Oh, that's a good idea.
[When Jill turns on the tap, a bloody plastic limb pops out of the disposal]
Jill: Oh, my God! Today is Halloween! I almost forgot. I gotta go pick up those costumes before Wilson's party tonight.
Tim: Honey?
Jill: What? [off Tim's look] Oh! I'm sorry, honey. That was really an adorable gag.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bewitched’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Detective Roberts: Do we have anything to link her to the crime scene? A black cat? A broom?
Tim: How about her amulet that she wore around her neck? It's right here. Hey, look at that. It's my fez. I've been looking all over for this thing.
Detective Roberts: Your fez? What happened to the amulet?
Tim: Well... I had it in my hand.
Detective Roberts: You tampered with the crime scene?
Tim: I did not know it was a crime. I did not know it at the time.
Detective Roberts: Dr. Seuss claims there was a witch.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Guys, guys, forget about me. Shouldn't we be looking for Wilson?
Detective Roberts: Yeah. We'll get that in motion as soon as you give us some more information. Now, look, Tim. Can I call you Tim?
Tim: I'd like that.
Detective Roberts: You really had no idea about your neighbor's financial situation?
Tim: No, no. I mean, he's a real simple guy. He eats squirrel. And he's been wearing the same hat for 15 years.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: I'm innocent. I've been framed, here. Honey, say something about...
Agatha: We just need a positive ID on the body.
Tim: Body?
Agatha: Bring it in. [the sheet is pulled back to the end of Wilson's nose]
Detective MacIntyre: Is this Mr. Wilson?
Jill: Oh, God! Yeah.
Brad: Why'd you do it, Dad?
Tim: I didn't do anything.
Wilson: Boo! [Tim screams] [everyone else cheers and laughs] He never saw it coming! Got ya!
Heidi: You are the king.
Wilson: I am the king!