Tim Quote #2830
Quote from Tim in Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
Tim: Wilson, if you need firewood, I got plenty here. You don't have to chop down your house.
Wilson: No, no, no, Tim. I'm just knocking down some icicles. It's one of my favorite things, right up there with spreading steer manure on a hot summer day.
Tim: I'd rather spread steer manure than be Al's landlord.
Wilson: Really? I would've thought Al would've been the perfect tenant. That's why I gave him such an enthusiastic reference. Maybe I went a little bit overboard.
Tim: [chuckles] You're the only one that quoted Shakespeare on a rental application.
Wilson: So, you're saying objectively that the person at fault is the lessee as opposed to the lessor.
Tim: More or less.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: You know, I've done similar things to him for different reasons.
Al: You have?
Jill: There was this one time, I was really overwhelmed with schoolwork. And he kept pestering me about remodeling a bathroom or something. So, I snuck out to the garage and I... I squirted some motor oil under the engine of his Mustang. It kept him out of my hair for days.
Al: That's brilliant!
Jill: This other time, I painted chicken pox on Mark's face so I wouldn't have to go to a tractor pull.
Al: Oh, this is a side of you I never knew existed!
Jill: Yeah. I'm devious.
Quote from Al
Al: Now... you fix my house.
Tim: Come on, Al. Now, you telling me you wouldn't be ashamed to have someone else repair stuff you could do?
Al: Not in the least.
Tim: You really want me fixing this stuff?
Al: Well, you wouldn't be my first choice. But I'll be right here behind you watching every move you make, "buddy!"
Quote from Al
Jill: Al, this doesn't have to end up in the courts. I mean, you and Tim just have to come to your senses.
Al: Tim? The man who has federal marshals hounding me about some mail fraud rap?
Jill: Well, we all know that Tim has a tendency to go overboard.
Al: Yeah. Well, when he goes overboard with me he turns the whole ship upside-down. And I'm left holding onto my dinghy.