Wilson Quote #323
Quote from Wilson in Communication Breakdown
Wilson: You know, Tim, I ran into Dennis at the coffee shop today. And he was so angry at Harry, he told him that he was leaving town.
Tim: What? Just because of what Harry said to him?
Wilson: Well, I guess so. You know, as Longfellow says, "A torn jacket is soon mended. But hard words can bruise the heart of a child."
Tim: You think I should have a talk with Harry?
Wilson: Well, let's see what the I Ching says. [sighs] [coins clattering] Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes. It says "The situation is a microcosm juxtaposed against, and created by, the macrocosm of the universe." [Wilson sniffs] And there, my neighbor, you have your answer.
Tim: Yup. Though I've forgotten the question.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Communication Breakdown’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hey, Wilson.
Wilson: Hidey-ho, neighbor.
Tim: What are you doing over there?
Wilson: Tim, are you familiar with the I Ching?
Tim: Sure. The "I Ching," the scratching, the chafing. That's why I switched to boxers, my friend.
Wilson: Oh, my!
Quote from Tim
Tim: Now, this is like an automated doll house. Of course Al would have an automated dull house.
Al: Well, what would be so great about your automated house?
Tim: Yeah? I'll show you. In my house, let's say I want my plants to have perfect sun, all right? Press this plant icon, and my house rotates from a northern exposure to a beautiful sunny western exposure.
Al: Well, I wouldn't want to be living in a spinning house.
Tim: Who invited ya? Now, here's a good one. Let's say your neighbors put on a two-story addition, you can't even see the stockyards anymore. Press this. And your house rises to the occasion. "When you go get the paper, honey, watch that first step. It's a mean one."
Al: This feature is also good for keeping away pesky door-to-door salesmen. [laughs]
Tim: And speaking of keeping people away from you... You know, when the mother-in-law comes to visit you, perfect opportunity to use the automated house. She's not getting in here. No way. [the house disappears below the ground and a "Lot for sale" sign springs up]
Quote from Delores
[Harry walks in on Delores hugging Tim]
Harry: Tim? What are you doing here?
Tim: Well, certainly not what it looks like.
Delores: He came over because he's a caring, loving human being who recognizes the importance of family unity.
Harry: Are you drunk?
Delores: I'm gonna leave you two alone. Now, try and open that thick skull of yours and listen to what he has to say. He's a lot smarter than he looks.