Wilson Quote #243
Quote from Wilson in The Vasectomy One
Tim: Hi, Wilson. What are you doing?
Wilson: Well, I'm gathering some twigs for my terrarium. It's mating time for my new spiders. You know, Tim, it's a little-known fact, but the male spider's sex organ is located at the end of one of its legs.
Jill: Better keep that spider away from Jill. He won't have a leg to stand on.
Wilson: I'm not sure I follow.
Tim: She wants, um... she wants me to have a vasectomy.
Wilson: Ah, I follow.
Tim: I know a lot of guys get them. But I'm just not one of those guys. I don't want anybody messing... you know... with the, you know.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Vasectomy One’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
Quote from Jill
Tim: A woman? You brought me here to see a woman?
Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town.
Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland?
Jill: Manland? Now you got a theme park between your legs?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Why don't you tell us what's involved in the procedure.
Tim: Yeah, I'm dying to hear this.
Dr. Kaplan: Well, the morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
Tim: Shave? Here?
Dr. Kaplan: It's just a routine procedure.
Tim: Not in my house it's not. What do you think? I wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
Jill: Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward.