Tim Quote #1949
Quote from Tim in The Vasectomy One
June: You just sling the unit over your shoulder and turn it on... and move your refrigerator effortlessly.
Tim: Wow! Hey! That is very useful. You can see how useful this is, but it only will raise it about an inch and a quarter, looks like. What happens if you have to move it up a step?
Al: Well, then you would do it the old- fashioned way - by the sweat of your brow.
Tim: Let me show you how I'll do it. Heidi, my slightly tweaked furniture mover, please.
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. With the few modifications I've made on this, I'll now be able to lift that thing about a foot and a half. Help me out here. All right! Thank you, Heidi. Just... switch her on. There you go.
[The refrigerator is shot off the platform and crushes a crew member against a wall]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Vasectomy One’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
Quote from Jill
Tim: A woman? You brought me here to see a woman?
Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town.
Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland?
Jill: Manland? Now you got a theme park between your legs?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Why don't you tell us what's involved in the procedure.
Tim: Yeah, I'm dying to hear this.
Dr. Kaplan: Well, the morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
Tim: Shave? Here?
Dr. Kaplan: It's just a routine procedure.
Tim: Not in my house it's not. What do you think? I wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
Jill: Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward.