Tim Quote #1412
Quote from Tim in Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher
Jill: When was the last time you saw Mr. Leonard?
Tim: Uh... Gotta be 20 years ago. He's in town seeing his niece. He saw me on Tool Time.
Jill: Well, you know what, I would really like to meet him. Why don't you invite him over?
Tim: Did it. He's coming to dinner tomorrow night. And you'll make his favorite - corned beef and cabbage.
Jill: What will I be wearing, Your Toolness?
Tim: I'm hoping for something in a wood or a metal.
Jill: I'll go with that aluminum Miracle bra.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ye Olde Shoppe Teacher’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I broke the cardinal rule with men. I offered help to a man that didn't want any.
Jill: Well, it looked like he needed it.
Tim: That didn't matter. By offering him help, it made him feel like less of a man.
Jill: Now, wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that if you saw a guy trapped underneath a boulder and he didn't ask for your help, you wouldn't move the boulder? [Tim shakes his head] That is insane.
Tim: If I moved the boulder the guy would feel like half a man.
Jill: If you didn't move the boulder the guy would be half a man.
Tim: But that half would thank me.
Jill: And men say that women are illogical and irrational?
Tim: They are, but what does that have to do with this?
Quote from Tim
Mr. Leonard: I swear to you, it's the truth. I mean, your father is a genuine original. I got another one for you. Even I can't explain this one. He is gluing a table together one time. Somehow a piece of the table gets stuck to his head.
Tim: There's a mistake I didn't let happen again.
Mark: Dad, didn't you do that...?
Tim: Here, have a cookie, will you, pal?
Quote from Tim
Jill: It is so great to see a mentor and a student reunited again. I used to have an English teacher that affected me the way you did Tim. Um, Mrs. Holloway. She introduced me to Shakespeare. Gosh, I loved Macbeth I used to walk around going, "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"
Tim: Well, enough of your laundry stories.