Al Quote #152
Quote from Al in It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
Tim: Thank you, everybody, and welcome to Tool Time. I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Thank you, Heidi. Poor little Al's out sick today. But don't have a flannel meltdown. He's gonna be helping us out by phone. Heidi, my Al phone, please.
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
[Heidi wheels out a wall which features a telephone and speaker, with facial hair, below which there's a flannel shirt, a tool belt and blue jeans.]
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. He's looking pretty sprightly, isn't he? Al, you there?
Al: [over phone] [sneezes]
Tim: Ah, use a tissue, fella. Come on!
Al: [over phone] I would like the audience to know that I used a hanky.
Tim: Al, this is the first time you've been out sick, isn't it?
Al: [over phone] Which is amazing, considering all the injuries you've inflicted on me. Put your hand down, Tim.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: What a great night with the boys, though. A lot of good food... Oh! [unbuttons belt] Ah! Ohh! I got some double-cheese nachos sitting right here. [burps] Ohh!
Jill: Tim!
Tim: Got a little gas ball moving, moving... [burps] Ah!
Jill: This is real attractive.
Tim: So... where were we?
Jill: It's kinda hard to remember.
Tim: This'll refresh your memory. [goes to kiss Jill; stifles burp] Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Mark was right. Ohh. You shouldn't have double onions on those chili dogs. Hello... [vents the bed sheet]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, today we continue our week-long salute... [drain gurgling] to plumbing. And joining us today is master plumber Felix Myman. Let's give him a big Tool Time welcome. Good to have you aboard, Felix.
Felix: Nice to be here, Tim.
Tim: Felix and I go way back, right?
Felix: That's right, Tim. I've been to your house for all of your plumbing disasters. [Tim groans] The water heater, the dishwasher, Jill's bathtub...
Tim: I think we get the point. Anyway, we'll try to get... [Al chuckles on the phone]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, being a master plumber, Felix is experienced with all sorts of bathroom problems - sinks, showers... Speaking of showers, what do you think of baby showers?
Felix: Well, I'm against them. I think babies should take baths.
Tim: No, no, it's a different sort of shower. It's like when women get together and yap about what to do when their water breaks.
Felix: With any kind of water breakage, you wanna call a licensed plumber.