Tim Quote #990

Quote from Tim in Feud for Thought

Jill: You will never guess what I just found out. My high-school reunion is next Saturday in Washington.
Tim: Has it been 50 years already?
Jill: 20. You know what? I think I wanna go. We just have to find somebody to stay with the kids.
Tim: I'll stay.
Jill: No way! I went to your reunion, you're going to mine.
Tim: You were miserable at my reunion. You spent the whole night by yourself.
Jill: And why was that? Because you and your friends spent the whole night mooning your old principal.
Tim: I think she enjoyed it.

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 ‘Feud for Thought’ Quotes

Quote from Jill

Jill: OK, Al, I've got a few instructions for you here. Now, Mark has a birthday party to go to tomorrow at the ice rink. This is the address. He's a little bit nervous 'cause he hasn't skated in about a year. Brad has a girlfriend, Ashley, coming over to study. Make sure that he studies his books and not her. Now, Randy still has a little bronchitis. Do not let him go outside. And make sure he takes all this medicine. He gets one teaspoon of cough syrup twice a day, one teaspoon of antibiotic three times a day. This has to live in the refrigerator. Now, if his cough turns into a wheeze, you know, it's kind of like a little whistly sound, discontinue the cough syrup and give him two puffs of this inhaler four times a day. Unless it's like a big whistle, and then you should call the doctor, and then me. Now, I gave you all... the doctor's number, pharmacy number, hotel number and our flight numbers right here. Oh, Tim, do you have any instructions for Al?
Tim: Don't let anybody touch my tools.

Quote from Jill

Tim: What you got in this thing?
Jill: Clothes.
Tim: We're only going to DC for two days.
Jill: And two nights. That's four outfits. And they said it might snow.
Tim: So what did you do, pack a snow shovel and a plow?
Jill: No. A parka and boots. I'm not gonna walk in the slush in my high heels.
Tim: What you got in there?
Jill: My essentials. The makeup, the night cream, the day cream, the concealer, the cotton balls, magnifying mirror...
Tim: Why don't you just airmail the whole bathroom... Oh!
Jill: I wish I could.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.