Al Quote #103
Quote from Al in Aisle See You in My Dreams
Tim: Thank you. Thank you all, and welcome once again to Tool Time. I'm your host, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, and you all know my assistant, Al "Catch of the Day" Borland. It's Male Hobby Week all this week on Tool Time. And today, Al and I are doing our Tool Time salute... to fishing. You know, hobbies are important to men because they allow us to wind down a bit. I can't speak for everybody, but I work awful hard all week long.
Al: You have another job somewhere, Tim?
Tim: Gosh, darn it. That was funny, Al. It really was. Who's writing your material? An orthodontist? Bite on that one, big worm.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Aisle See You in My Dreams’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Why do women meddle in relationships? Men don't care about that.
Wilson: Uh-oh, Tim. You're falling victim to a cultural stereotype. Historically, men have been the primary matchmakers.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: For example, among the Xhosa Kaffir tribe, a young man's father would choose his first, sometimes even his second, wife in exchange for a sack of barley or a goat.
Tim: I'd hold out for a sack of cash and a Jag.
Wilson: You see, Tim, unlike the ancient matchmakers, who received goods for their services, Jill's motives are much purer. She only wants what's best for Al.
Tim: Yeah, but why does she drag me into it?
Wilson: Who the heck knows? You know women.
Quote from Jill
Tim: What is this?
Jill: Brad and Randy wrote to Mark pretending to be Isiah Thomas.
Mark: It's not from Isiah?
Jill: Mark, no professional basketball player is gonna come to our house to eat corn.
Tim: Especially your mom's corn.
Jill: Honey... Look, you're eight years old now. It's time that we had this talk. Stop being such a sap!
Quote from Al
Al: I don't think so, Tim. I would never trade wheel covers for the love of a good woman. And, unlike you, I have never used the show as my personal forum. I would like to say something to my special lady.
Tim: Al, what are you gonna do?
Al: Speak from the heart.
Tim: Al, don't do this. Al! [to Jimmy] It was good to have you on the show. Thanks for coming.
Al: [to camera] Dr. Ilene Markham. I, Albert Borland, would like to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?
Tim: [chuckles] That's great. Great. That's great. What are you doing?
Al: I'm proposing.
Tim: Are you crazy? He's crazy.
Al: Crazy in love.
Tim: Oh, boy! Aren't you? Aren't we all? That's all the time we have. Klaus, the music, please.