Tim Quote #412
Quote from Tim in Overactive Glance
Kiki: Hey, it is you. Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor? I never miss your show.
Tim: Oh, you have me confused with that handsome guy in Tool Time.
Kiki: Don't be modest. Could I get your autograph?
Tim: Yeah, quick. Why don't you slide it right under here under my head here? OK.
Kiki: Could you make it out to Kiki?
Tim: Kiki. K-I... Oh. OK, Kikster, here you go.
Kiki: Could you put my last name too?
Tim: Ah, you know, my wife is due back...
Kiki: Kiki Van Fursterwallenscheinlaw.
Tim: What?
Kiki: F-u-r-s-t-e-r-w-a-l-l...
Tim: Uh-huh. I'm getting a hand cramp. Hold on.
Kiki: e-n-s-c-h-e-i-n-I-a-w.
Tim: L-a-w. Good thing it didn't run out of ink.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Overactive Glance’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Tim, it goes back a million years. In order for the species to survive, Stone Age man had to seek out many different women.
Tim: Kind of a ménage a Flintstone.
Wilson: You see, Tim, there's something buried deep in your collective unconscious.
Tim: Yeah, my collective unconscious, yeah.
Wilson: Oh, yes, yes, yes. You still possess ancient man's primary fantasy to seek out many different women.
Tim: [grunts] Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jill doesn't understand that.
Wilson: Mm-hmm. Probably because a woman's primary fantasy continues to be a meaningful relationship with just one man.
Tim: Yeah, but I look at women because collectively I'm unconscious.
Wilson: In a manner of speaking, Tim.
Tim: So, it's in my nature to look at women, that means it's OK.
Wilson: It's OK if you're on the Serengeti chasing a wildebeest with a club.
Tim: But I was in a restaurant in West Bloomfield with my wife.
Wilson: Well, then I'd call it downright rude.
Quote from Jill
Jill: Tim, it's 45 minutes to our dinner reservation, so aren't you going to take a shower?
Tim: Honey. I don't need to take a shower. I have a natural, earthy, musky scent.
Jill: Quit that!
Tim: No, really. Stick your nose right there and tell me I don't smell like a man.
Jill: Yeah, Cro-Magnon man. [Tim grunts] And I believe he was never fully erect either.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Then why were you looking at other women tonight?
Tim: Why was I looking at other women tonight?
Jill: Are you stalling?
Tim: Am I stalling?
Jill: Why do you look?
Tim: There's a couple reasons. You have your primary reason and then your secondary reason. Primary reason first, followed by...
Jill: Tim. Why?
Tim: Could you repeat that question?