Tim Quote #3504
Quote from Tim in Trouble-a-Bruin
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. All right. Now, all of us take our car to the mechanic now and then for a tune-up. But do we really know what they do?
Al: I do. Sorry. I'm just excited 'cause I know the answer.
Tim: There's nothing I like better than giving a car a tune-up. Tightening belts, new spark plugs, oil change, scraping my knuckles. [grunts] Oh, yeah. Quickest way to find out what's going on is to use a diagnostic machine. We'll get... Where's the diagnostic machine? Oh, let me guess.
Heidi: It wasn't a Binford.
Tim: Well, everyone, I guess you showed up for no reason, thanks to my... [audience groans] No, no. Thanks to my friends at Binford who removed my diagnostic machine. I'm supposed to do a tune-up! How the hell am I supposed to do it without the machine?
Al: I know.
Tim: You have the answer, Al?
Al: By using our Binford hand tools.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Trouble-a-Bruin’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Wilson: Jill, let me ask you something. Did you ever go against your parents' wishes and take a risk that involved physical danger?
Jill: Yeah, I did. I married Tim.
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know the important news? Bud has turned a good tool company into a fascist dictatorship.
Jill: So what, he's gonna declare war on Home Depot?
Tim: You know, this is serious. We're not allowed to use any tools on the set that don't have the Binford logo on them. And since Binford doesn't make any automotive tools, I can't do any car-related Tool Times.
Jill: That's ridiculous. I knew they were giving you problems down there. I didn't know they would go this far.
Tim: Oh, this is just the beginning. They start taking away your diagnostic equipment, the next thing you know your money looks different and you're waiting in line for vodka and toilet paper.
Quote from Tim
Dr. Hennessy: Well, look, Brad's knee should be around 85 percent by game time.
Tim: 85 percent! That's like a B-minus.
Brad: All right!
Jill: But 85 percent means that there's an increased chance that he'll get hurt.
Tim: Well, yeah... Yeah... But what if he only plays 85 percent of the time? That would eliminate the 15 percent chance of injury!
Brad: All right!
Jill: [to the puzzled Dr. Hennessy] Welcome to my world.