Marty Quote #61
Quote from Marty in Ploys for Tots
Tim: What's that supposed to mean?
Marty: Oh, come on. Your wife sent you down here to bite my head off about something that you don't even believe. [toy squeaking]
Tim: If you think for one minute I came down here 'cause of Jill, you're dead wrong. I'm my own man. I do my own bidding. [fails to squeeze a plush toy] Hey!
Marty: Yeah? Well, I'm my own man and I don't happen to agree with what your wife [toy squeaks] sent you down here to tell me.
Tim: If you weren't such a thickhead, you'd realize she made a good point. You know what else? [toy squeaks] This is a really annoying job. [toy squeaks]
Marty: It wasn't nearly so annoying before you came down here and started breathing down my neck. [toy squeaks]
Tim: Maybe it's time I left, huh?
Man: Oh, now you're doing it? Who's a guy gotta sleep with around here to squeak toys?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ploys for Tots’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I can't even imagine what he's going through, doing all this parenting alone. I mean, without Jill, I couldn't have had the kids.
Quote from Al
Heidi: Welcome to Remodeling Week here on Tool Time. Now, here's the star of the show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, everybody. Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Grateful Tool Man" Taylor, and, of course, you all know my assistant.
[Jazzy music plays as Al walks towards the audience, who are applauding him, and salutes them]
Al: Okay, I'm a perch, I'll bite.
Tim: Well, Tim, it's Remodeling Week.
Al: I know that. Well, I've worn this shirt before, so now I'm re-modeling it. [laughs]
Quote from Tim
Al: Uh, all right. Well, over the years, we've shown you a lot of different ways to upgrade your home.
Tim: But when the job is big enough, it's time to ask for the expertise of a licensed, bonded, professional contractor.
Al: But finding a good contractor can be, well, as difficult as finding a date to the prom.
Tim: Yes, it can, Al. But this time, your mom won't bail you out. "Al, I can't fit in a limousine. Better use a backhoe."