Tim Quote #3288
Quote from Tim in Ploys for Tots
Tim: All right, contractor number one, putting a parquet floor in my, uh, dining room. You get a call from the hospital. It's your wife. She's having a baby. Do you finish the floor or race to the hospital?
Bill: Well, Tim, my wife and I have been trying to have a baby for three years.
Tim: I've been trying to have a parquet floor for 10.
Bill: Well, I mean, if you really needed the work done, uh, I guess I'd do it.
Tim: Look at it this way, the floor will probably last longer than the marriage.
Bill: Yeah. Especially now, since my wife is watching.
Al: So the moment of truth has come.
Heidi: Are you going with contractor number one, contractor number two, or contractor number three?
Ed: Hey, Tim, it's Ed again. I would leave my family to do your parquet floor.
Tim: And yet I'm gonna go with contractor number one!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Ploys for Tots’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I can't even imagine what he's going through, doing all this parenting alone. I mean, without Jill, I couldn't have had the kids.
Quote from Al
Heidi: Welcome to Remodeling Week here on Tool Time. Now, here's the star of the show, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. Thank you, everybody. Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Grateful Tool Man" Taylor, and, of course, you all know my assistant.
[Jazzy music plays as Al walks towards the audience, who are applauding him, and salutes them]
Al: Okay, I'm a perch, I'll bite.
Tim: Well, Tim, it's Remodeling Week.
Al: I know that. Well, I've worn this shirt before, so now I'm re-modeling it. [laughs]
Quote from Tim
Al: Uh, all right. Well, over the years, we've shown you a lot of different ways to upgrade your home.
Tim: But when the job is big enough, it's time to ask for the expertise of a licensed, bonded, professional contractor.
Al: But finding a good contractor can be, well, as difficult as finding a date to the prom.
Tim: Yes, it can, Al. But this time, your mom won't bail you out. "Al, I can't fit in a limousine. Better use a backhoe."