Jill: I had a patient come in and tell me that she'd had an affair with Heidi's husband. Heidi found out about it because I broke confidentiality and told Tim.
Wilson: Ah. Now you're telling me.
Jill: Oh, my God! I did it again. I can't believe it! I'm completely hopeless. You know, I'm just lucky that my supervisor never found out what I did.
Wilson: Well, you are right because she could've lost her license, and you could've been kicked out of the master's program.
Jill: Really?
Wilson: Oh, really. Also, the school could've been sued, and you might've been written about in textbooks for future generations to study.
Jill: Wilson, you're not making me feel any better.
Wilson: Well, excuse me! Why do I always have to be Santa's little helper? Well, I mean, I have wants. I-I-I- I have needs. I have issues. But does anyone ever come to the fence and say, "Wilson, do you have a problem?" I mean, no! It's just "Me, me, me, me!"

Tim: Some affair at work? Let me guess. Let me guess. It's Al, isn't it? Huh? It's a classic case, psychologically. He's way too close to his mom. His house is too tidy. He's gay, isn't he?
Jill: It's not Al. Don't ask me any more questions. It violates my doctor/patient confidentiality.
Tim: I respect that, too. It's Marv, the camera guy, right?
Jill: It's not Marv, and the subject is closed.
Tim: Milton!
Jill: Milton doesn't go in for that sort of thing!

Tim: Look at Heidi's chest.
Jill: Okay, you just noticed?
Tim: The pin.