Al Quote #380
Quote from Al in Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
Jill: I brought you a housewarming gift.
Al: Why would you do that? Your husband is trying to evict me.
Jill: Well, I think he's totally out of line.
Al: You really think that? Oh, I'm so glad you think that! Thank you! Oh! And that is why I'm going to fight him to the death on this. You know, he may have his money and his his big-city lawyers, but I have the sword of justice on my side. Jerky?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: You know, I've done similar things to him for different reasons.
Al: You have?
Jill: There was this one time, I was really overwhelmed with schoolwork. And he kept pestering me about remodeling a bathroom or something. So, I snuck out to the garage and I... I squirted some motor oil under the engine of his Mustang. It kept him out of my hair for days.
Al: That's brilliant!
Jill: This other time, I painted chicken pox on Mark's face so I wouldn't have to go to a tractor pull.
Al: Oh, this is a side of you I never knew existed!
Jill: Yeah. I'm devious.
Quote from Al
Al: Now... you fix my house.
Tim: Come on, Al. Now, you telling me you wouldn't be ashamed to have someone else repair stuff you could do?
Al: Not in the least.
Tim: You really want me fixing this stuff?
Al: Well, you wouldn't be my first choice. But I'll be right here behind you watching every move you make, "buddy!"
Quote from Al
Jill: Al, this doesn't have to end up in the courts. I mean, you and Tim just have to come to your senses.
Al: Tim? The man who has federal marshals hounding me about some mail fraud rap?
Jill: Well, we all know that Tim has a tendency to go overboard.
Al: Yeah. Well, when he goes overboard with me he turns the whole ship upside-down. And I'm left holding onto my dinghy.