Tim Quote #2117
Quote from Tim in Alarmed by Burglars
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant, Al Borland. For the next couple of days, we're gonna show you how to install a high-tech, super-charged security system.
Al: That's right. Now, the first thing is to determine what areas of your home are most vulnerable to a break-in.
Tim: But since the only thing Al can break into is a sweat... we've invited a reformed burglar to help us out. I'd like to welcome on the show, Sammy "the Snake" Nash. Welcome, Sammy.
Sammy: Thanks, Tim. It's a pleasure to be in your home. You have some beautiful things in here.
Tim: And I'd like to keep them in here.
Sammy: I'm not into that anymore.
Tim: Well, that's a good thing because I understand your parole officer watches the show every night.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Alarmed by Burglars’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: How could you let Tim put in such a ridiculous alarm system?
Jill: Well, it was actually my idea.
Wilson: Your idea?
Jill: Yeah. After you got robbed, I got scared. I started imaging horrible things happening to the family. Crazy people lurking behind every door, scaring the kids, taking all our stuff.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And you thought that by putting in a state-of-the-art alarm system, you'd no longer be afraid.
Jill: Well, yeah. But now all I'm afraid of is setting off this insane system!
Wilson: Well, Jill, I wouldn't worry about it. As the physicist Edward Teller told me over borscht at the Russian Tea Room, total security has never been available to anyone. To expect it is unrealistic. To imagine that it can exist is an invite to disaster.
Quote from Al
Tim: Guys, I'm serious. I'm serious. I think it's time "The Tool Man" just scaled back a bit.
Benny: Yeah, right. That would be like Babe Ruth bunting.
Marty: Raquel Welch wearing a parka.
Harry: Benny picking up a check.
Al: It would be like my mother going to a buffet and only having a salad. Did I say that?
Quote from Jill
Jill: Look, if this can happen to Wilson, it can happen to us! I want floodlights, surveillance cameras, uh, uh, uh...
panic buttons, uh, uh, the works, everything!
Tim: You know, I am... I am getting very excited. I hope this isn't just a big tease.
Jill: I am not teasing you. I am turning you loose to buy the biggest, most powerful security system that money can buy.
Tim: [groans] Ohh...
Jill: I will even allow you to do a Tool Time remote in the house.
Tim: I have never loved you as much as I do at this moment.