Tim Quote #2014
Quote from Tim in The Bud Bowl
Tim: We also added a feature I think you're going to enjoy. You know how, at home your door always stays open, allowing pesky insects or that annoying insurance salesman in.
Al: That's why we've installed the Binford 6100 Slide Master. It automatically closes the door once you've walked through it.
Tim: Good. As nice as that feature is, there's always that energetic mosquito that can slide in there. Or a claims adjuster. Boom! They're in and you don't even know about it, right? So I modified this bad boy to close ten times faster than a normal one.
Al: You did?
Tim: Yes! I used a small magnetic diffuser from Binford, right? You just turn it up to the speed you want. Ahh!
All right. Try it. Show them. [Al gives a look to camera] Heidi, please demonstrate the door.
Heidi: Yeah, right.
Tim: All right. I'll do it. Presto. You walk through and the door shuts. [crash] [man shouts] When you install these at home, you might want to use shatterproof glass.
Al: And a small part of your brain.
Tim: Well, that's it for the show today. Join us tomorrow when we show our segment, "The Resourceful Tool Man."
Al: And our discussion panel, "Sump Pumps: How They Work..."
Tim: And are they the right thing to wear with an evening gown?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Bud Bowl’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Hey, Wilson. Am I losing my mind? Or do I hear crickets in the middle of winter?
Wilson: Well, you certainly do, neighbor. I brought my pet crickets out to serenade me.
Tim: Wilson, have you ever had a normal pet?
Wilson: Well, I had a marmoset once. But my ocelot ate it.
Tim: You're one odd duck, Wilson.
Wilson: I had one of those. Ocelot got it, too.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Put away the fish, get out your bowling shoes. We're going bowling and dinner with Bud and his wife tonight.
Jill: Tonight? I can't go tonight. I have that lecture for my Abnormal Psych class.
Tim: You don't have to go to that. You know what they're going to say. "There's a lot of crazy people out there and there's nothing we can do about it."
Jill: You're living proof of that.
Quote from Jill
Jill: You say that you need me by your side. And then you don't even treat me like a person. You acted like I was just one of your appendages.
Tim: Well, forgive me for thinking my career's important.
Jill: Apparently, that's all you think is important.
Tim: Oh, that's not true. Where you hit me with the bowling ball I find quite important too.
Jill: Well, that's OK. Because I think it's gonna have plenty of time to heal!