Al: You know, this was not easy for me to bring up. And I turned that store upside down looking for that darn thing and the fact is it was there when you guys came in and when you left... it was gone.
Tim: Well, I know kids steal things, but my boys steal from you and Harry? Come on.
Al: Things like that happen. Let me tell you a story about my uncle's grocery store. I was holding my mother's hand...
Tim: And this was yesterday?
Al: I was seven years old. And she went off to look for the children's appetite suppressant... And... on the shelf there was a cookie. And I stole it and I ate it.
Tim: OK, so you're saying you think one of my kids ate that knife?

Tim: You how l look at it, the stronger the punishment, the less likelihood is the kid will ever do it again.
Wilson: Well, Tim, many people subscribe to that theory, but I'm reminded of the great Nietzsche.
Tim: Wow. What a linebacker. Green Bay Packers.
Wilson: No. No, no, no, no. Not Ray Nitschke. I'm talking about Friedrich Nietzsche, the philosopher.
Tim: Sure. Freddy. Yeah.
Wilson: Yes. Nietzsche said that punishment often increases the feelings of estrangement and strengthens the power of resistance.
Tim: I think what influenced me more was Fisk.
Wilson: Oh, I didn't know you were a fan of John Fiske, the English historian.
Tim: I'm not. I'm talking about Carlton Fisk, the White Sox catcher. He said if you get caught stealing, throw him out.

Jill: I hate when you do this. The kids do something, you overreact...
Tim: No, you underreact.
Jill: I do not underreact. You go overboard.
Tim: Then you go underboard.
Jill: There's no such word as underboard.