Tim Quote #1158
Quote from Tim in It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims
Jill: You were charming the pants off those women today. Why don't you do that with me anymore?
Tim: I was just trying to make a good impression. Come on.
Jill: You know, it really ticks me off that just because we're married, everybody else gets the best part of you, and I just get the rest.
Tim: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back the trolley up here a minute. It's not like I get the best o' Jill. That morning breath could take the paint off my hot rod. And how about this little ratty robe? Like that says, "Come and take me, big fella."
Jill: The point is that tonight, I really tried. When was the last time that you put on something like this for me?
Tim: I put that on, I'd be arrested, honey. Come on.
Jill: All I wanted was one night of romance, and you turn it into a big argument.
Tim: So let's not argue. I, for one, am still in the mood. [Jill slams the door] I'm taking a wild shot that you're not.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘It Was the Best of Tims, It Was the Worst of Tims’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: What a great night with the boys, though. A lot of good food... Oh! [unbuttons belt] Ah! Ohh! I got some double-cheese nachos sitting right here. [burps] Ohh!
Jill: Tim!
Tim: Got a little gas ball moving, moving... [burps] Ah!
Jill: This is real attractive.
Tim: So... where were we?
Jill: It's kinda hard to remember.
Tim: This'll refresh your memory. [goes to kiss Jill; stifles burp] Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. Mark was right. Ohh. You shouldn't have double onions on those chili dogs. Hello... [vents the bed sheet]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, being a master plumber, Felix is experienced with all sorts of bathroom problems - sinks, showers... Speaking of showers, what do you think of baby showers?
Felix: Well, I'm against them. I think babies should take baths.
Tim: No, no, it's a different sort of shower. It's like when women get together and yap about what to do when their water breaks.
Felix: With any kind of water breakage, you wanna call a licensed plumber.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Anyway, today we continue our week-long salute... [drain gurgling] to plumbing. And joining us today is master plumber Felix Myman. Let's give him a big Tool Time welcome. Good to have you aboard, Felix.
Felix: Nice to be here, Tim.
Tim: Felix and I go way back, right?
Felix: That's right, Tim. I've been to your house for all of your plumbing disasters. [Tim groans] The water heater, the dishwasher, Jill's bathtub...
Tim: I think we get the point. Anyway, we'll try to get... [Al chuckles on the phone]