Tim Quote #773
Quote from Tim in To Build or Not to Build
Tim: Well, we're just about out of time. But before we go, I'd like to talk a little bit about Al's mother.
Al: I'd prefer you wouldn't, Tim.
Tim: I know, but with Mother's Day coming up, I realize a lot of the time I make fun of her on the show.
Al: Yes, you do. My mother is frequently the butt of your jokes.
Tim: Al, you make this too easy.
Al: Well, you... you're always poking fun of her cooking, of her weight, her love for bingo, her son...
Tim: Al, come in for a landing, OK? Being Mother's Day, I thought I'd make her a gift, kind of a - ooh - peace offering.
Al: Really?
Tim: Lisa!
Al: Well, that was awfully big of you.
Tim: Well, I thought maybe for those... [Tim and Lisa hold up a large flannel apron with kitchen utensils] those festive Thanksgiving dinners, she might have a nice new apron.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘To Build or Not to Build’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: You know, Wilson, that was a great... that's a great idea, flying your mom in like that. Randy, my... my middle son, is having trouble thinking of something for Mother's Day for... for my wife.
Wilson's mother: Oh, I'm sure she'll love anything he gives her.
Wilson: Mm-hm. That's right, Tim. After all, it was Pierre Corneille, the noted French playwright, who wrote: "I am in the habit of looking not so much to the nature of the gift as to the spirit in which it is given."
Tim: Oh, that's beautiful, yeah.
Wilson's mother: Excuse me, son. Are you sure it was Corneille? I believe it was Robert Louis Stevenson.
Wilson: Well, by golly, Mom, I think you're right.
Wilson's mother: Pierre Corneille wrote, "The manner of giving is worth more than the gift."
Wilson: Act one, scene one of his play Le Menteur.
Wilson's mother: Oh, you do your mother proud.
Wilson: Oh, Mom.
Tim: Thanks, Wilsons. I was enjoying this quotefest. But, remember, I'm the confused one. And I still don't know what to tell Randy about Mother's Day.
Wilson & Mother: Hm. Hm, hm, hm, hm.
Wilson's mother: The most important gift you can give any mother is to let her know she's loved and appreciated.
Wilson: I couldn't have said it better myself.
Quote from Al
Al: [sings] M is for the million things she gave me O means only that she's growing old
K&B Guys: [sing] She's growing old
Al: T is for the tears you shed to save me
Tim: Guys, guys...
Al: H is for the heart of purest gold
K&B Guys: Of purest gold
Al: E is for the eyes with love light shining R means right and right you'll always be
K&B Guys: She'll always be
Al: When you put them all together they spell...
Tim: [sings] Mother
Al: A word that means the world to me
K&B Guys: The world to me
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Afternoon, Wilson.
Wilson: Hidy-ho, neighbor.
Tim: What's with the flag?
Wilson: Tim, I'm commemorating the upcoming holiday.
Tim: With a flag? It's not the 4th of July. It's Mother's Day.
Wilson: You see, Tim, back in 1914, Congress passed a resolution establishing Mother's Day as an official holiday.
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]
Wilson: It was a proclamation calling on the public to display the flag as a sign of love and reverence for the mothers of our country, and it was issued by the president of the United States...
Tim: Wilson...
Wilson: Absolutely right, Tim. President Woodrow Wilson.
Tim: Well, maybe old Woodrow took credit for it, but I bet his mom gave him the idea.