Tim Quote #603
Quote from Tim in Bell Bottom Blues
Tim: If you'll notice, the closet's all cedar lined for all our big clothes. Trousers, jackets, scarves, upper clothes, there's shirts, skirts at the bottom, pants, everything else, OK?
Jill: This is perfect, so far.
Tim: All right. You'll notice all your stuff is pink. I got all your accessories outlined here. I've even got a drawer for your scarves. Open that.
Jill: Oh, OK. Whoa!
Tim: Wait a minute. Could that be potpourri-scented lining?
Jill: I'm still waiting for the explosion.
Tim: Come on. I'd suggest you shut that drawer.
Tim's computerized voice: The drawer is ajar. The drawer is ajar. The drawer is a... [Jill closes the drawer] Thank you.
Jill: You're welcome.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Bell Bottom Blues’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: You have to have a bigger toolbox to compensate for your teensy-weensy paycheck.
Al: No, Tim. I need a bigger toolbox because I'm your assistant. And I need to be ready for any of your particular needs.
Tim: Oh, yeah, you do. [grunts] You're really shaping up around here, Al.
Al: Well, I have plenty of room in here for bandages, couple of ice packs.
Tim: Stop it, Al. Cut it out.
Al: Oh, a tourniquet.
Tim: I hope you have a job application in there, buddy.
Al: Crutches.
Tim: Huh?
Al: IV unit.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: You know, Wilson... Brad's going through this thing where he doesn't want me to hug him anymore.
Wilson: Mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm, mm-hm. He's finally reached that age.
Tim: It's a funny thing, you know. He doesn't want me to touch him, but he'll still wrestle and roughhouse with me.
Wilson: Well, that's because throughout history men have been more comfortable expressing affection through combative gestures. Such as the salute.
Tim: The salute?
Wilson: Oh, yes, Tim. In the Middle Ages, when knights on horseback would pass by each other, they would raise the visors of their helmets to expose their face, and show each other that they were friends. And that became...
Tim: A salute.
Wilson: A sign of friendship and respect. In the same vein, the handshake evolved when men would extend their weapon hand to show that they were unarmed. [shakes Tim's hand through the fence]
Tim: Or to show they didn't have a little joke buzzer in there.
Wilson: There you go, neighbor. Men's gestures of friendship, and respect, grow out of competition and combat.
Quote from Jill
Jill: All right, all right, all right. I'll clean the closet out.
Tim: There's got to be something in here you can get rid of.
Jill: Yeah, but I stayed married to it because of the kids.