Tim Quote #493
Quote from Tim in May the Best Man Win
Maureen Binford: You're so funny. You see, that's what I'm saying. We are a winning combo. And I know I can make our show better.
Tim: "Our" show?
Maureen Binford: Yeah. Like with the project house. You know, your patio idea is OK. But let's say we open it up.
Tim: Ah...
Maureen Binford: All right... We add a few French doors for light. Voila, we've got ourselves a breakfast nook.
Tim: Are you crazy? This is Tool Time. Men don't eat in a nook. You never ever hear 300-pound construction workers going, "Charlie, John, stop by the house. I just made fresh muffins. We'll eat it in the nook."
Al: Well, a muffin in a nook would be cozy.
Tim: Shut up, Al.
Tim: We already have all the materials bought for this project presently. You just can't change the blueprints on a whim.
Maureen Binford: Oh, now don't be such a gloomy Gus. It's never too late. Just think about it. Toodles.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘May the Best Man Win’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: Come here. I'm gonna try to work this out, OK? Let's say you got this business. Uh, bubblegum factories. Somebody comes in and tries...
Mark: Do I have cherry bubblegum?
Tim: Oh, yeah, yeah. Probably racks of the best they have. Of course, a lot of that cherry bubblegum. Anyway, so...
Mark: Do I have baseball cards?
Tim: Yeah, you got baseball cards. You've got a little assistant with a little beard. Whatever you want. You got everything. Anyway, so... you got this bubblegum factory - cherry bubblegum and the baseball stuff - and this girl comes in, tries to run things. You know, you've been running it for quite a while and made a big success out of it. But this little red-headed little... you know, little nice little girl, she comes in and takes over. What do you do?
Mark: I tell Mommy.
Tim: But Mommy's not home, is she? [Mark shakes his head] And so the girl takes over your bubblegum factory. You know, it's just the way life is, Mark.
Quote from Jill
Jill: This is so weird, you know. I mean, I get to go to work and everything, but I don't get to be here when you kids get home from school. I keep thinking of that first day that I walked you to kindergarten, Brad. You know, you went up those stairs and turned around waved your little chubby hand and said, [feigns crying] "B'bye, Mommy."
Randy: "B'bye, Mommy."
Jill: Oh, come on. Stop, stop.
Quote from Tim
Brad: Dad, how come you didn't make your famous chocolate-chip pancakes?
Tim: Because I didn't have time to make 'em. Just eat your cereal, will ya?
Randy: Well, Mom usually slices up bananas. Why don't you?
Tim: Because I don't love you as much as Mom does.