Tobias Quote #188
Quote from Tobias in A New Start
Narrator: Tobias and Lindsay shared the news of their new start at a family gathering.
Tobias: I got the part. You know, it's funny, for I, too, find that I am on a journey. Although, as we discovered when our MasterCard bill came back, it was the same one she took. But mine has confirmed that I should redouble my efforts to achieve the unachievable dream of being an actor. A journey that has left me eager to connect with my true love. Particularly if she finds her way clear to covering a 2,000-rupee City of Hopelessness hospital debt.
Lucille: The trick is going to be getting anyone to believe that her husband is straight enough to have a true love that's a woman.
Tobias: What are you implying?
Michael: Oh, I don't think there was any implying going on at all. Didn't hear any implying.
Lucille: I wasn't implying.
Tobias: I'm sorry, Mother. It's just, I've got a bit of a stick up my bunghole about what I've now found is a running joke about me. But let's be honest. For 2,000 rupees, we'd both go down on Matthew McConaughey. [chuckles] Yes, Michael?
Narrator: At the time of this family meeting, 2,000 rupees was $36.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘A New Start’ Quotes
Quote from Tobias
Narrator: And so Tobias, hoping to straighten out his image, set out on a new start. Beginning with a trip to the airport in an outfit he pretty much put together himself.
Tobias: I guess this is why you never see them driving convertibles.
Narrator: I'll have to check on that one. But it certainly wasn't embraced...
Lindsay: Stay in your lane, anus tart!
Cab Driver: [bleep] Anus tart!
Narrator: ...by the local Indian community.
Quote from Tobias
Narrator: Tobias knew it was time to find out what he was truly meant to do. So when he came across a book the universe had placed in his path, he was open to its inspiration.
Tobias: They're still reading it, but... Well, I guess I can leave them some Love.
Narrator: So he just took Eat and Pray. Eat was easy, although it provided no cosmic answers for him. But it was the part about India that really got to him. And so, like the heroine of Eat, Pray-
Tobias: Wait a minute.
Narrator: Tobias decided to get as far away from his wife as possible.
Narrator & Tobias: And so Tobias found himself booking passage to India.
Quote from Tobias
Lindsay: There's nothing keeping us together. It's time to give up our dreams if they're not working. You know, your acting career, this marriage that everyone thinks is a sham because you're gay.
Tobias: I'm- I'm sorry. Everyone thinks I'm gay?
Lindsay: Well, I mean, it's kind of a running joke in the family. I mean, you know that, right? 'Cause of the misleading way you talk sometimes.
Tobias: You're saying the way I talk makes me sound gay? When in the last year have I said anything remotely-
[11 seconds earlier:]
Tobias: [sings] It's just a phallus...see!
[present:]
Tobias: misleading? Is this because I want to be an actor and all the leading men in Hollywood are gay?
Lindsay: I don't think that all the leading men in Hollywood are gay.
Tobias: Oh, honey.