Trending ‘Home Improvement’ Quotes

Quote from Tim in Pilot

Tim: All right. We gotta get this done before your mom gets home, OK? Take a look at this bad boy. That's a Finley two-stage, five-horse Blastmaster compressor. All tubing inside is stainless steel...
Randy: Dad, why are we doing this?
Tim: Randy, it's a house full of men. We're reclaiming the male spirit. Huh?
Brad: By working on a dishwasher?
Tim: It's either that or sitting around a campfire telling stories naked. [Brad and Randy run off] Hey, hey, hey. Where you guys going? I'm kidding around.
Tim: It's just you and me, Mark. Unless you got something else to do.
Mark: No, I want to be with you.
Tim: Great. [Mark takes off his shirt] What are you doing?
Mark: Getting naked.
Tim: You don't have to get all the way naked. All right, this is bare-chested men's work. Come over here.


Quote from Tim in Al's Fair Lady

Tim: Trudy, good to see you again.
Trudy: Nice to see you, Tim. So nice to meet you, Jill. Al just raves about you.
Jill: Oh, that's so sweet. Well, I brought a three-bean salad.
Trudy: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Tim: I tried to stop her.
Trudy: Don't be silly. I'm sure it'll be a perfect complement to the pheasant.
Tim: Pheasant? That's my favorite fowl!