Pam: What's wrong, Michael?
Michael Scott: I got gum in my hair.
Pam: You do.
Michael Scott: This just stinks. Don't touch it. Please, don't touch it!
Dwight K. Schrute: You got a ton of dandruff.
Michael Scott: Okay, let me be.
Jim: How'd you get gum in your hair?
Michael Scott: I was walking in and I noticed something shiny under Stanley's car. And I got under to see what it was and I messed up my hair. All for a stupid piece of tinfoil.
Jim: But, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter.
Michael Scott: Kill me, right now.
Jim: We have peanut butter in the kitchen.
Michael Scott: I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich.
Jim: Nope, not for you, it's for your hair. And it is 9:00 AM.
Pam: Dwight, not the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad.
Michael Scott: Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about.
[later, in Michael's office, Dwight has thoroughly covered Michael's hair in peanut butter]
Michael Scott: Smells good.
Dwight K. Schrute: Taste good, too.
Michael Scott: Oh, don't, that's disgusting.
Dwight K. Schrute: Wow. Lot of calories.
Michael Scott: Well, just don't leave it on too long. Keep massaging, please. Oh. Yeah, that's nice.