Paula: In light of this new information, the time has come to take decisive action.
Michael: Wow, can't tell you how happy I am to hear you say that.
Chuck: We are gonna form an elite investigative team to get to the bottom of this. And we are fast-tracking the process. It'll take no more than 400 years.
Michael: Sorry?
Paula: It's aggressive, but you heard right. We are only giving ourselves 400 years to select the members of this elite team.
Michael: Wait, 400 years just to form the team? I was thinking that we could do something now-ish. Like, right now.
Meg: Michael, we have rules, procedures. We're the good guys. We can't just do stuff.
Paula: No.
Chuck: Upon formation, the team will then be in charge of organizing a Blue Ribbon Commission to investigate themselves, to make sure there's no conflicts of interest. And that will take 1,000 years.
Michael: Okay. Just so you know, the whole time you're doing this, the bad guys are continuing to torture everyone who ends up in the Bad Place. Which is everyone.
Andie: And that deeply concerns us. Have you seen the memoranda we've sent each other about how concerned we are? We're taking this very seriously.
Kellen: Hear, hear.
Chuck: Kellan, did you file a "Hear, Hear" memorandum?
Kellen: No. Sincerest apologies. I rescind my "Hear, hear" and resign, effective immediately. [applause]