Minister: Now, to say a few words, I'd like to bring up a close friend and one of Carl's personal heroes Johnny Rose.
Johnny: [baby crying] Thank you, minister. Carl. What to say about Carl ? Once so full of life and now lying very, very close to me. What a terrible thing death is. And yet, for Carl, pretty much an all-consuming thing at this point. He-He was a- He was a man who loved a good sweater I'm told. And- And he loved the feel of big tool in his hand, am I right, Bob? And I wonder, when Carl was spinning around on that ceiling fan that he was so very proud of, was he ever thinking of this town where he was born where he lived, and where he died. Where he died. But I- I- I'm not up here today to speak about dying in Schitt's Creek. [cell phone interrupts] I'm- I'm here- I'm-
Bree: [on the phone] Where the hell are you, Sean?! At a bar?! If anyone should be in a bar right now, it's me. Sean! Excuse me.
Johnny: Well, I- I am here to talk about dying in Schitt's Creek! I'm here to talk about the misery of our lives here and how we might never escape this place. And how we do not wanna end up in a coffin, like Carl, here in this godforsaken-
[Moira begins to sing Danny Boy]