Jill: We have to let him go. We have to. His girlfriend's gonna be there. They're both really committed to the cause. I mean, he's got his heart set on it.
Tim: So? When he was eight years old, he had his heart set on that pony. He never got that.
Jill: Yeah, well, maybe if we'd given him the pony, he wouldn't be going to Costa Rica.
Tim: I still know that pony guy. I'll cut a deal with the guy. Oh, it's probably a horse by now, wouldn't it be, 'cause it's...

Brad: Well, I think it's really cool you're going down there to save the environment.
Randy: You don't think I'm crazy for doing this, do you?
Brad: No, no. I don't think you're crazy. I mean, I think it's gonna be kind of weird. 'Cause I figure that by the time you get back, I'll probably be headed off for college, you know?
Randy: So this year would've been our last chance to hang out together.
Brad: Yeah. We could've done some major partying.
Randy: Well, I'm not really the party guy, but...
Brad: Well, I guess we could've tortured Mark together.
Randy: Yup. I am definitely gonna miss that. Of course, you know, if you want, I can score you some Costa Rican itching powder.
Brad: And if you do, I promise to send you the pictures of Mark's rash.

Tim: Hey, men. What are you guys talking about?
Brad: We're actually just talking about Costa Rican itching powder.
Tim: Hey, don't get me started, all right? Years ago when you wanted a good itch, you bought American, all right? Yeah. We used to be proud of this country's novelty products in my day.
Brad: All right. I'm gonna go write to my congressman.
Tim: Good work. While you're at it, why don't you tell him about the influx of that fake vomit from Japan? All the bean sprouts in there. What's that all about?
Randy: Now I know where I got my global consciousness.
Tim: Freakin' right, man.

Randy: Dad, it's no big deal. It's like I'm going to sleep-away camp for a year.
Tim: Except this camp, instead of arts and crafts, you've got tarantulas and man-eating fish. Not to mention the constant threat of a peasant uprising.
Randy: Dad, Costa Rica is the most stable country in Central America.
Tim: Oh, yeah. That's what they said about Nicaragua. Now the people down there are deprived of the most basic freedoms. You can't buy a Chevy big block down there! You know that?
Randy: And this bothers Mom how?

Jill: Tim, I am worried about him going, but I told you I wasn't gonna stop him!
Tim: That's why I stopped him for you. Look, it doesn't matter who stopped him. The point is he's not going.
Jill: So he's gonna miss this incredible adventure and spend the rest of his life blaming me.
Tim: You know, I thought you'd be happy that I fixed things.
Jill: Tim, this isn't a leaky faucet or a broken carburetor. This is my relationship with my son! I did not ask you to fix it!
Tim: Not literally. But you were sending some very strong subliminal messages.
Jill: Really? Well...
Tim: Yes! Yes!
Jill: Okay, so can you pick up on this message that I'm sending you right now?
Tim: That is not physically possible.

Wilson: Hidey ho, good neighbor.
Tim: What's all the smoke?
Wilson: I'm roasting Joe.
Tim: Well, I don't hear any screams. He's obviously taking it like a man.
Wilson: No, in honor of Randy going to Costa Rica, I'm roasting coffee beans.

Tim: Randy's not going.
Wilson: Why not?
Tim: Because I told him Jill didn't want him to go.
Wilson: So the trip is off just like that? Jill must be very upset about him going.
Tim: The only reason I told him that was because Jill was worried about his health and safety. I mean, he's not gonna be home for Thanksgiving. We won't see him at Christmas. He won't be here when I finish the hot rod.
Wilson: Ah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Tim: He's gonna celebrate a birthday down there, you know. If we want party pictures, you know, I'll have to pick up a copy of National Geographic.
Wilson: Well, I'm still back at "Ah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm."
Tim: [inquisitive grunt]

Jill: Randy, guess what? Good news. Here are your rain pants. You are going to Costa Rica.
Randy: What? What's changed?
Jill: Talk to the middleman.
Randy: I don't get it.
Tim: Well, it's complicated. Geez. Here. Would you slice this for me? Do you remember your first solid food?
Randy: I was seven months old.
Tim: So you do remember. Your mom tried to get you to eat that wimpy rice cereal, but I gave you a bratwurst.
Randy: No wonder I became a vegetarian.

Randy: So why am I going to Costa Rica again?
Tim: It's complicated. How did you become 16 already?
Randy: Well, I woke up one morning, I was 15, and thought, "What the heck! Let's keep on going." So back to the Costa Rica thing.
Tim: Damn it, I'm gonna miss you.
Randy: So you're the one who had the problem with me leaving?
Tim: The longest I've ever been away from you has been a week.
Randy: Yeah. And I visited you in the hospital every single day.

Tim: I'm just not comfortable about you leaving like this, you know? We... We haven't gotten a chance to do half the stuff I've talked about doing with you.
Randy: Like what?
Tim: We never souped anything up, even a bicycle.
Randy: Come on, Dad. Don't you remember? I was the first six-year-old ever to be pulled over for speeding?
Tim: If you'd just ducked into that alley, that cop would've never seen you.
Randy: I know.