Rita Stipe: Isn't it great to have a brother who's a police officer, Raymond? I know I feel much safer knowing he's around.
Robert: It's nice to be appreciated. Or noticed.
Harry Stipe: Raymond? Barone? Not Newsday's Ray Barone?
Ray: Yeah, that's me.
Harry Stipe: Holy crud. We got a celebrity in our midst. Harry Stipe.
Ray: Yeah, hi.
Rita Stipe: How exciting. A writer.
Harry Stipe: I love everything you write. [to Robert] How come you didn't tell me who your brother was?
Robert: Must have slipped my mind.
Rita Stipe: So, what's it like to write for "Newsday"?
Ray: It's okay, I guess.
Rita Stipe: Oh, a big-time writer. And he's humble. Robert, leave some for Raymond!

Robert: Well, here we are.
Ray: Hey, look at this.
Robert: Yeah, I've got a little more work to do on the place, but hey, at least I made the move, right? Yeah. Shamsky loves it. Just look at him.
Ray: Yeah, he's never looked happier.
Rita Stipe: [o.s.] Boys, I'm going to the store for ice cream. Do you want some?
Robert: Aw! Thank you, Mrs. S. She's one of a kind, huh?
Ray: Yeah, no one else like her.

Ray: Let's get you home.
Robert: Oh no, I'm not going home.
Ray: What do you mean?
Robert: I'm finding a real place. On my own, no adult supervision.
Ray: What about Mom? I mean, she's all sad and over at my house a lot.
Robert: All those years I stayed there, I convinced myself that I wasn't wasting my life because it was part of a plan. Stay at home, save some money, meet a girl, then move out and, you know, have a life. Get married, buy a house, have some kids, become... You know, have it all.
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: If I go back now, I have to admit that my plan was nothing.

Marie: Did you see Robby's place?
Ray: Yeah, he's moving out of there.
Debra: I knew you could do it.
Marie: Oh, Robby's coming home. I've got to go and clean his room.
Ray: No, Mom. He's moving somewhere else.
Marie: What did you do?
Debra: Yeah, what did you do?
Harry Stipe: Who are you to come into our house and take away that Robert? Let me tell you something, Mr.
Big-Shot-Writer. I needed Robert there. Without him, it's just me and her.
Debra: Is that room still available?

Robert: Hey, Raymond. What are you doing here?
Ray: I just came by and wanted to see the place.
Robert: Well, I guess you should be the first to see it since you're the reason I'm here. I'll tell you what, I'll show you around right after I eat what smells like the best dinner ever.
Rita Stipe: Sit, sit, sit. It's all your favorite meats.
Robert: Ah!
Ray: So, Rob, how's it going?
Robert: Good. It's kind of weird being on my own, though.
Ray: On your own, yeah. So, uh, does this place remind you of anywhere?

Ray: Hey, Snugglepants. Oh man, what a day. I had this interview with Ewing, you know, and he was three hours late and I had to wait for him. [Marie walks up behind Raymond] Oh I am tired, sweetness. [Marie starts rubbing Ray's shoulders] Oh yeah, oh. Oh baby, does that feel good. Come here. [Ray panics] What are you doing?
Marie: Trying to help you relax.
Ray: [groans] Oh God, now the dreams are gonna start again.
Marie: Don't be silly.

Amy: I love babysitting. They're so sweet when they're sleeping. Doesn't it make you... think about things?
Robert: You know what I like best about being over here? It's not over there, you know? It's nice to get away, be alone with my girl.
Amy: You know, we can hang out at my apartment more.
Robert: Yeah, but your roommate getting all nervous around me and all, you know?
Amy: Oh, Robert. I don't think she would-
Robert: I know hives, okay? Those were hives.
Amy: Okay, okay. You know, I don't get hives around you.
Robert: Well, I know you don't, but that doesn't mean that people... [Amy clears her throat] Ah! [kisses Amy] Yeah, yeah.

Amy: I feel like I'm back in high school.
Debra: Amy, come on. Is that a hickey, young lady?
Amy: No, no.
Debra: Yeah, I see it.
Ray: Hey, does your mom know you're going out with this, this hoodlum?
Amy: Please, Mr. Barone, don't tell my mother.

Robert: All right, okay, I get it. I'm pathetic.
Amy: What are you talking about?
Robert: I'm a grown man who lives with his parents and has to take babysitting jobs so he can make out with his girlfriend.
Amy: That's not true, Robert.
Debra: No.
Ray: It's a little true.

Ray: Could have been worse. We could have walked in on Mom and Dad...