Marie: Okay, let's go, Frank! Kitchen isn't open all day.
Frank: Unlike your mouth.

Ray: How many times have I told you to move out? You always got some lame excuse. "I'm worried about money."
Robert: Money is a good excuse.
Ray: "I'm only 33." "They let me put a lock on the door." "I'm only 37." Yeah, you know what? You don't need any more excuses. I'm not gonna tell you to move again.
Robert: Good.
Ray: That's right.
Robert: Great.
Ray: That's right. Stay miserable for the rest of your life and wonder if you should've moved out, but now it's too late 'cause you're old and bald and living with Mom and Dad. [Marie enters] And you're gonna find out that the designated hitter is bad for baseball. Nine guys hit, nine guys field, that's the game. It's the way it was meant to be played. [Marie leaves] What, are you gonna move to Florida with Mom and Dad and stay at a retirement village? I'm not flying to see 1,500 miles you wearing socks with sandals.
Robert: Why are you bothering me, Ray?
Ray: Because you're always complaining about living with them, but hey, look who's still here.
Robert: All right, enough. Would you mind your own business?
Ray: I just hate seeing you like this, 'cause-- whatever, I like you.

Marie: I'm not gonna forget this, Raymond.
Ray: Mom.
Frank: Me neither.
Ray: You? You're always yelling at him that he should move out, making him feel like a loser.
Frank: I don't really want him to go. If he goes it's just me and her.
Robert: [sings] I'm about to lose control and I... [talks] Hey there, Pop.
Frank: Don't go! I love you.

Ray: On the bright side, now you can buy a ceiling fan.

Ray: Look, Robert, this place is no different than home.
Robert: What are you talking about? It's totally different. I'm above a garage, I have a bathroom here, I'm allowed to bring snacks. Fiddle Faddle?
Ray: Those people, the Stipes, you put more make up on one and 30 lbs. on the other, that's Mom and Dad.
Robert: Come on, Raymond, they're nothing like Mom and Dad. They're Jewish.
Ray: What does Amy think of this place?
Robert: Well, Mrs. S. doesn't like me having visitors of the female persuasion. She kind of looks out for me a little too much. You know, and Mr. S., he doesn't like a lot of talking, except when they're fighting. And then they go on and on and on and... Oh, my God! Maybe this isn't the radical change I had planned.
Ray: No, there's a change. You get to pay rent now.
Robert: Stupid idiot moron!

Ray: Hey, Robert, you left your jacket at my house last night.
Marie: Here, gimmie.
Ray: What?
Marie: Gimmie.
Robert: I told you, Ma, I don't smoke.
Marie: A good mother checks.

Frank: Hey, what was with all that racket last night?
Robert: What racket?
Frank: Like around 9:00, I heard your girlfriend talking.
Robert: Amy talking is racket?
Frank: She's not talking to me, so, yeah, racket.
Robert: So I'm not allowed to talk to people any more?

Marie: Robby's very happy here. You stay with your mother, honey, you'll be fine.
Frank: He's not going anywhere.
Robert: Oh, yes I am.
Marie: Don't be silly. Let's remember what happened the last time you pulled a stunt like this.
Robert: I got married, Ma. Okay? I moved out 'cause I got married.
Marie: That's right, you got married. And? What happened with that? You lost all your money to that awful woman with the three different eyeshadows.
Frank: I will say that Joanie had a nice caboose.
Robert: Joanne, Dad. Her name was Joanne, all right?
Frank: Either way, that train's not pulling back into station.

Ray: Hey, Deb, guess what. Look who forgave me.
Debra: Oh, good. 'Cause there was such a hole in our lives.
Marie: The only good thing about Robby leaving me is I get to spend more time with all of you. [Debra glares at Ray] That's the dryer. Debra, I noticed some new underwear in there for you. A little more revealing than usual.
Debra: [to Ray] Get Robert back. Otherwise it's just us and her. Are you starting to get a bad feeling here?
Ray: I'm just starting to get feeling back.

Harry Stipe: We got sour cream for the potato or what?
Rita Stipe: It's right in front of you.
Harry Stipe: That the kind I like?
Rita Stipe: No, I buy the kind you don't like.
Harry Stipe: Who's this guy?
Rita Stipe: Oh, this is Robby's brother.
Ray: Yeah, hi.
Harry Stipe: We got the Baco Bits?
Rita Stipe: Are you blind? If this was a snake, it would have bit you.
Harry Stipe: If it was a snake, I'd eat it instead of that pot roast.