Alyson: Hey. Um, I just came by to apologize.
Rochelle: Really?
Alyson: Yeah, Latrinda went and got herself in more trouble. She said if it was okay for me to act this way, then why wasn't it okay for her?
Rochelle: That's a good question. What did you tell her?
Alyson: I just told her, I said, "Look, I'm your mother and if you don't straighten up, then I'm gonna knock the medulla out of your oblongata."
Rochelle: That's what I'm talking about! Good for you, girl.
Alyson: So, um, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for talking to me the way that you did. It really helped.
Rochelle: Any time.
Alyson: And you know, who knows? Maybe sometimes, Latrinda can come over again...
Rochelle: Take care, girl. [closes the door]

Julius: So, you enjoying my four dollars?
Drew: That's long gone.
Julius: Boy, what can you blow four dollars on that fast?
Drew: Actually, it was five, but I figured you were worth it. [gives Julius the Dodgers baseball cap] For the number-one fan of the number-two team in baseball.
Julius: Thanks.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] This tender moment should not be diminished, but later that day my father returned that hat, got his five dollars back and ended up a dollar up on the deal.

Chris: Well?
Malvo: I scored in the 70 percentile. I passed!
Chris: Congratulations.
Malvo: Thanks, Chris, man, I couldn't did it without you. When nobody else believed in me, you did. You the wind beneath beneath my wings.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And he was the convict beneath my nightmares. Despite the awkwardness of this moment, I was really happy I helped Malvo.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Typically, in the barbershop, I heard good news.
Manny: Did you hear? They renewed The Jeffersons for another season. I love me some Weezie, boy. Whoo!
Manny: Did you hear the Voyager space probe had its first encounter with Uranus?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But on this day, I got the worst news I could imagine.
Manny: Did y'all hear? Malvo is out of prison.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Malvo was the career criminal that I had helped put away. But like the Terminator, everybody knew he'd be back, and they were ready.
Risky: Shoot, I put extra locks on my doors.
James: I put two locks on my bike.
Monk: I locked up my locks.
Chris: I ain't scared of Malvo.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] This is called "barbershop courage."

Kill Moves: Hey, Chris! Chris, Malvo's looking for you-oo-ooh!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Say what?!
[After Chris vanishes from the barber's chair in a flash, he runs down the street... straight into Malvo]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Somebody help!
Chris: Let me in! Please! [sobbing] Malvo. Where you been?
Malvo: Jail.
Chris: Yep, that's where you were.
Malvo: Yeah, well, now I'm out-- and I need you to help me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I could only imagine what he wanted help with.
[fantasy: Malvo fires a shotgun as he backs out of a bank. Chris is in the driver's seat of a waiting car:]
Malvo: Drive, boy! Drive!

Chris: Help with what?
Malvo: Look... you the smartest person I know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sad but true.
Malvo: So I need you to help me to get into high school.
Chris: Wait, why do you want to break into high school? There's nothing worth stealing.
Malvo: I know. I made that mistake before.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He was sentenced to stealing a book about sentences.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] The men in my family loved baseball, and even though we lived in New York, my dad's favorite team was the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Julius: Hey, son, what you listening to?
Drew: The Mets. They're my new favorite baseball team.
Julius: [screaming] No...!
[fantasy: the Earth implodes]

Drew: Wait, Dad, don't be like that. Just admit it. The Mets are a better team than the Dodgers.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father believed in the Dodgers so much, he did the unthinkable.
Julius: You want to put some money on it?
Drew: A bet?
Julius: Yeah. The Dodgers are in town this weekend against the Mets, for three games. We'll see who's the better team.
Drew: How much?
Julius: A dollar.
Drew: Okay, you're on.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at the barbershop, everybody wanted to know how I was still alive.
Manny: And you said no?
Chris: Yeah. Ain't nobody scared of Malvo.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Except you.

Chris: So Supercuts Johnson taught you how to cut hair?
Manny: Not only that, he told me that everybody deserves a second chance.
Chris: Well, where is he now?
Manny: Oh, he's dead. He got the chair.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But he looked good.
Chris: So, do you think Malvo deserves a second chance?
Manny: Look, your life is on the line, man. Do you think he needs a second chance? Think about it.