Ryan: They really didn't like me.
Dwight K. Schrute: They did not. But they didn't have to say it to your face.
Ryan: I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
Dwight K. Schrute: Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're gonna be screwed once this whole Internet fad is over.

Jim: So as it turns out, unless you're a young child or a prison inmate, you don't need anyone supervising you. People just come in and do their work on their schedule. Imagine that, people like us allowed to sell paper. Unsupervised. And yet, somehow it works. It must be because the stakes are so high.

Michael Scott: I know there's some rumors out there and I just want to set the record straight.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm Assistant Regional Manager. I should know first.
Michael Scott: Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Stephanie: [answering phone] David Wallace's office.
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Kevin] This is Kevin Malone, is David there?
Stephanie: No, he's in his weekly staff meeting, can I take a message?
Dwight K. Schrute: Tell him I'm mad at Jim, because he's asking us to give money to Pam.
[later:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Stanley] This is Stanley Hudson. Jim Halpert is a menace.
[later:]
Dwight K. Schrute: [imitating Toby] It's Toby Flenderson. Listen, things are getting really bad down here.

[Dwight arrives at the office dressed like Jim]
Dwight K. Schrute: Pam.
Pam: Hey, Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight K. Schrute: I look like an idiot! Hey, Karen.
Karen: Hey, Dwight. Looking sharp.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, that's 'cause I'm your boyfriend, Jim Halpert. Hey, Karen. Wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse 'cause you're my girlfriend?
Jim: Do you?
Karen: No. Okay. I'm good. Thanks.
Jim: Look at that.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm Jim Halpert.
Jim: Spot on.
Dwight K. Schrute: A little comment.

Jim: We are the Search Committee, hand-picked by our CEO, and tasked to find this branch's new manager. Not everyone we meet will be good, but someone's bound to be, right? And, to be honest, I think a lot of the decent candidates are right here in-house, so, I'm not too worried. But I'm really excited to spend a lot of time with Toby and Gabe. Did you know that Gabe's last name was Lewis? I had no idea.

Michael Scott: So, you want to start a business. How do you start? What do you need? Well, first of all, you need a building. And secondly, you need supply, you need something to sell. Now, this could be anything. It could be a thingamajig or a who's- he-what's- he or a Whatchamacallit. [throws a candy bar of the same name] Now, you need to sell those in order to have a PayDay. [and again] And if you sell enough of them, you will make a 100 GRAND. [and again] Satisfied? [holds up a Snickers bar]