Kelly: Guys, we're not gonna settle anything this way. I think we just need to be grown-ups here.
Andy: Thank you.
Kelly: I thin we're gonna need to here those texts.
Andy: Kelly, remember how you wanted to go home before?
Kelly: No. There's no way in hell I'm leaving. Something interesting is happening here for once in my life, I am staying here. Darryl, read the texts.

Pam: I saw you were getting along with Ryan again.
Kelly: He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, "Kelly, that will be the color of our children."
Pam: Yeah, he's so great. Remember how it felt when he cheated on you though?
Kelly: Which time?

Kelly: Uck, look at all this mud. Can you imagine if I had worn my Jimmy Choos? I just saved you 600 bucks mister.
Ravi: Thanks for helping out, sweetie.

Kelly: I just want you to know that I will be mean to Jessica if you want me to be.
Erin: Oh no, no. It's fine, Kelly.
Kelly: It's really no problem. I was already planning on being mean to her.

Kelly: Are you all right? This must be so awful for you.
Pam: What do you mean?
Kelly: Well, this is supposed to be your wedding.
Pam: Oh! No, that's actually fine.
Kelly: There's no way it's fine. I'm sorry. If I was you, I would just, like, freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant.

Kelly: I am on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and water, for all three meals. Um. I just bought some bikinis online, size 2. So... Gonna look amazing!

Kelly: I'll tell you one thing. I am not gonna be one of those women schlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Jan: Great. Uh-huh.
Kelly: I want an SUV with three rows of seats.

Darryl: "I got too much ice cream. You want some?" "Gettin' my fry on."
Kelly: Boring.
Darryl: Uh, "The moon is huge tonight."
Phyllis: Ooh, gosh, the moon one's damning. Yeah, sorry.
Darryl: That's regular text talk.
Brandon: You forgot one.
Darryl: "You're such a great friend."
Brandon: With the dots.
Darryl: "You're such a great friend, dot dot dot dot dot."
Kelly: Five dots, Darryl, are you kidding me? Okay, 'cause three dots means "to be continued", four dots is a typo, but five dots means "Whoa, do not make me say what I want to say, baby, but if I did, it would blow your mind, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot."

Kelly: Oh, my God, he is so cute. Would you talk to him for me and see if he likes me?
Jim: Oh, no, I don't think I can-
Kelly: Oh, please, Jim. Please, please, Jim. Please, please, please, he's so cute. I like him so much. And I would do it, but I'm too shy. Please, Jim. Please, please, please. Please, Jim. Please, please, please.

Kelly: It's frustrating, 'cause we'd be so perfect together.
Jim: You know what? Here's the deal, Kelly. It would be really nice if he was into you, right? It'd be great. But he isn't. So-
Kelly: Yeah, but it would be so great if he was.
Jim: Well, he's not, though. So you just gotta suck it up. You just gotta move on, try to have some fun. Come to my poker game tonight.
Kelly: Okay, cool. Is it okay if I invite Ryan?