Erica: Anyway, uh, thanks for the invite, but I have company in here already.
Srini: As in romantic company?
Erica: Why do you care?
Srini: I just don't know what I'm gonna tell your mother.
Erica: She got to you, didn't she? You've been compromised.

Beverly: Move! Follow the sound of my hand siren to safety!

Adam: As you can see, NASA needs to know exactly what your dream-girl looks like. Again, this is just between me, you, the American space program, and no one else.
Barry: That makes me feel safer about opening up to you.
Adam: Sure.
Barry: Tell NASA she has to have Heather Locklear's eyes, Julia Roberts' smile, Delta Burke's top stuff, Bo Derek's hair, but most important, Chuck Norris' sense of justice.
Pops: Oy, vey.
Barry: Time to make that button and make that closet explode with lightning and hot ladies.

Jackie: This list is ridiculous. How am I supposed to find a girl who likes "sensual karate" and "can kick a 50-yard field goal"?
Adam: Good news is he's looking for a very specific kind of gal.
Jackie: "Ability to communicate with dolphins and a savage tan"? Adam, this list is insane.
Adam: Look, this began with me worrying about my physical safety, but now I think Barry really needs this.
Jackie: Okay, sure. I'll try to find someone with Morgan Fairchild's side-butt. I don't even know what that is.
Adam: I believe in you.

Adam: Barry, great news. I have a girl for you.
Barry: Yes! I knew science was real.
Adam: I don't think that was up for debate.

Adam: I meant Jackie found someone.
Barry: You gave her my lady recipe? That was for NASA's eyes only!
Adam: I know. But she found someone who's got everything you asked for. Right?
Jackie: Um, I didn't hit everything on your list, but at the top, you asked for a girl, and I got that part.
Adam: That's not nothing, mister. I got goosebumps.

Barry: Thanks, Adam. You've officially made a mockery of our plan to have a computer print out a girl for me.

Barry: What's this?
Adam: I've revised your daily ass-kicking schedule for your year of awesome.
Barry: Go away. I don't need your pity.
Adam: Before you reject my offer, I think you'll agree that I've really jazzed up your options.
Barry: No.
Adam: Yes. You get to pants me in public, and not just anywhere, at the first pep rally of the year.
Barry: In front of the entire school? That'd be the Holy Grail of younger-brother humiliation.
Adam: Indeed. And I'm offering it to you wearing this.
Barry: Sweat pants? That's a loose garment ideal for pantsing.

Adam: The uncinched sweats will be loose beyond your wildest dreams.
Barry: Have you gone mad?
Adam: To get you back to your rightful place on top, I would rip the drawstring from every loose-fitting pant I own.
Barry: Wow, you really are a good brother.

Beverly: Oh, hey, Jackie. Are you staying for dinner? I'm making chicken-fried chicken Parm.
Jackie: Thanks, but I should just get going.
Adam & Jackie: Eskimo kiss.
Adam & Jackie: Butterfly kiss.
Adam & Jackie: Cheek kiss.
Both: And one last kiss in your palm so you can ball it up and stick it in your heart.
Adam: I, uh, taught her all the kisses. You don't mind, do you? Oh...